How about a stream of consciousness blog?! YAY!
So Christmas is around the corner... blah. I hate giving presents and am only partially fond of getting them. It's not a selfishness thing, it's this: If you get something... you're obligated to give something, else people get hurt and angry with you. As you cultivate more friends (and family due to marriages, divorces, kids, blah...) you start having to buy more and more presents. You don't know WHO is buying you something ahead of time, so ultimately you have to cover all bases. Or none... which seems really shitty of you also. And then if you buy someone something that's more expensive than what they got you, or than someone else got them.... now all of a sudden someone somewhere feels likes less of a friend, like friendships and awesomeness of present are somehow rated at the monetary value of gifts. It's so fucking retarded.
My brother.. OWN BROTHER.. wrote my family saying he wanted to limit all gift buying at $30 for each person because money was tight. I was like... FUCK THAT. If all you can spend is $30 on each, fine. No one will mind or care, and you have no need to bring it up. But don't restrict ME because of your financial burdens. It's not ABOUT the money spent. Ugh....
On top of that it seems the ultimate goal is to balance money spent on value of items received... well then WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE POINT? Why didn't everyone just keep the money and go on vacation or some shit? And you can't try to make it some you get more than you receive.. that's selfish. And you can't make it so you give more than you get - that's just (especially right now) financially irresponsible.
So.. once again - I ask what's the point in all of this? Now... what I enjoy doing is seeing Christmas being about the community (be it friends or family, neighbors, towns, whatever) coming together to do more than they could as single entities. I mean... I could buy myself that DVD or video game.... I appreciate the gift, but... seriously, wasn't necessary. But.. say I need a new bed, or TV, or there's this WHATEVER that I want or want to do - some expense that is more than I could normally budget myself. What I like seeing is the community around me coming together, all chipping in just a little bit to make that thing happen. For instance - my buddy wanted an Xbox 360. He's going through a Divorce - can't afford it. None of us could single handedly afford that expensive of an item - but 30 bucks from each of us had it for him EASILY. So that's what he got.
And you know what - that kind of giving is a reward too. Going out amongst the crowds and shopping for random knick knacks.. bah... but working and planning and coming together with friends to create something bigger than what each of us could do alone - that feels good. And I know it means something to him too. I mean yeah... it's an Xbox 360. Just a video game system. But part of the present is also knowing you have friends who will rally behind you.
Bah... but that's not how Christmas usually works.. and why I generally hate it. But when it does work like that... I love it.
Blah.. new subject.
So I'm not a moral individual. I don't believe in morality. No right or wrong. There is cause and effect. I do believe in HONOR, but do not believe that Honor is inherently GOOD or RIGHT. What I believe in is happy or unhappy. You do what's right by you, make yourself happy. This is an intricate mesh... making oneself happy. It's simple, yet complicated in it's nuances. Immediate gratification must be tempered with the knowledge of it's consequences and weighing the worth of each.
I don't like to come off as a pessimist, but a funny thing is realized as you observe human interaction (even of yourself) in regards to the premises above. Negative actions tend to quickly cause negative reactions or equal or GREATER scale than the initial cause. This can cause rather catastrophic growth patterns in drama, stress, and over all shittiness.
On the other hand, however, positive actions tend to be met with equal or LESSER actions in comparison; which tend to quickly sputter and disappear as they chain from cause to effect. Additionally it's been observed that there is a greater chance that the non-equal reaction is the more likely reaction to occur. This is likely due to human selfishness. IE - Humans are more apt for a more grandiose revenge as it helps ease the pain of the initial "crime" inflicted upon them. Additionally they are less likely to return favor in exactly equal terms because then there is no personal gain from it.
To put it in very black and white (and extreme) terms that is easy to follow and a decent analogy - If I hate you it is very likely that you will hate me back. If I love you it is NOT likely you will love me back.
I understand that the above analogy, in it's simplicity, does not fully express the breadth of this idea, but I think it gets across the jist easily.
So there we have it - what is wrong with the world? Why should one love and get nothing return... when it is so easy to hate and get all the attention you desire?
But.. despite perhaps a lack of genuine appreciation, I shall continue to love. Just as I love all of you - Have a good holiday all.
So Christmas is around the corner... blah. I hate giving presents and am only partially fond of getting them. It's not a selfishness thing, it's this: If you get something... you're obligated to give something, else people get hurt and angry with you. As you cultivate more friends (and family due to marriages, divorces, kids, blah...) you start having to buy more and more presents. You don't know WHO is buying you something ahead of time, so ultimately you have to cover all bases. Or none... which seems really shitty of you also. And then if you buy someone something that's more expensive than what they got you, or than someone else got them.... now all of a sudden someone somewhere feels likes less of a friend, like friendships and awesomeness of present are somehow rated at the monetary value of gifts. It's so fucking retarded.
My brother.. OWN BROTHER.. wrote my family saying he wanted to limit all gift buying at $30 for each person because money was tight. I was like... FUCK THAT. If all you can spend is $30 on each, fine. No one will mind or care, and you have no need to bring it up. But don't restrict ME because of your financial burdens. It's not ABOUT the money spent. Ugh....
On top of that it seems the ultimate goal is to balance money spent on value of items received... well then WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE POINT? Why didn't everyone just keep the money and go on vacation or some shit? And you can't try to make it some you get more than you receive.. that's selfish. And you can't make it so you give more than you get - that's just (especially right now) financially irresponsible.
So.. once again - I ask what's the point in all of this? Now... what I enjoy doing is seeing Christmas being about the community (be it friends or family, neighbors, towns, whatever) coming together to do more than they could as single entities. I mean... I could buy myself that DVD or video game.... I appreciate the gift, but... seriously, wasn't necessary. But.. say I need a new bed, or TV, or there's this WHATEVER that I want or want to do - some expense that is more than I could normally budget myself. What I like seeing is the community around me coming together, all chipping in just a little bit to make that thing happen. For instance - my buddy wanted an Xbox 360. He's going through a Divorce - can't afford it. None of us could single handedly afford that expensive of an item - but 30 bucks from each of us had it for him EASILY. So that's what he got.
And you know what - that kind of giving is a reward too. Going out amongst the crowds and shopping for random knick knacks.. bah... but working and planning and coming together with friends to create something bigger than what each of us could do alone - that feels good. And I know it means something to him too. I mean yeah... it's an Xbox 360. Just a video game system. But part of the present is also knowing you have friends who will rally behind you.
Bah... but that's not how Christmas usually works.. and why I generally hate it. But when it does work like that... I love it.
Blah.. new subject.
So I'm not a moral individual. I don't believe in morality. No right or wrong. There is cause and effect. I do believe in HONOR, but do not believe that Honor is inherently GOOD or RIGHT. What I believe in is happy or unhappy. You do what's right by you, make yourself happy. This is an intricate mesh... making oneself happy. It's simple, yet complicated in it's nuances. Immediate gratification must be tempered with the knowledge of it's consequences and weighing the worth of each.
I don't like to come off as a pessimist, but a funny thing is realized as you observe human interaction (even of yourself) in regards to the premises above. Negative actions tend to quickly cause negative reactions or equal or GREATER scale than the initial cause. This can cause rather catastrophic growth patterns in drama, stress, and over all shittiness.
On the other hand, however, positive actions tend to be met with equal or LESSER actions in comparison; which tend to quickly sputter and disappear as they chain from cause to effect. Additionally it's been observed that there is a greater chance that the non-equal reaction is the more likely reaction to occur. This is likely due to human selfishness. IE - Humans are more apt for a more grandiose revenge as it helps ease the pain of the initial "crime" inflicted upon them. Additionally they are less likely to return favor in exactly equal terms because then there is no personal gain from it.
To put it in very black and white (and extreme) terms that is easy to follow and a decent analogy - If I hate you it is very likely that you will hate me back. If I love you it is NOT likely you will love me back.
I understand that the above analogy, in it's simplicity, does not fully express the breadth of this idea, but I think it gets across the jist easily.
So there we have it - what is wrong with the world? Why should one love and get nothing return... when it is so easy to hate and get all the attention you desire?
But.. despite perhaps a lack of genuine appreciation, I shall continue to love. Just as I love all of you - Have a good holiday all.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
meagan:
why thank you 
acacia:
Happy New Year. 