So..this will be that stupid blog feelings...
I'm a really closed person... I cant tell my feelings cause its very difficult. so..writing for me is better...like a therapy.. these days have been so hard... I cant sleep well, I cant take care of me. nothing. so, now I want and need to tell everything is in my mind.
I have been super busy = I lost a bit who I am...I cant think what really means to me. what is good to me. what I need. cause my head is tired and is just a bag full of shit. I'm thinking 193749 things in the same time. really hate this. I like to be lucid.
Is impressive and fascinating as humans can feel feelings so powerful and so big. as if we could blow up with the whole world. is good to know that you were made for one person.
that it exists .. your life is a thousand times better. the world seems to you more
beautiful and more joyful. the heart stops when we see it... and just look at her to know that all is well. because nothing else matters ... just her. you know that life is not easy for you, that you spent many obstacles but it's there... in thought, by our will, always will be. The world could end but she'll be there .. But there is one thing more powerful than that in the world. I and I realized that now. the ability of that person to destroy all that great feeling. and ... well .. how life it's funny.. As a person reaches a point ... no longer able to fight for their feeling. however much we want. how that person was able to destroy a feeling so strong? it's sad but it's still funny.
because life is always surprising us, and when we do not expect something happens .. situation that you had the certainty that nothing would destroy it ... is gone. he was my
life, despite everything that has happened ... after all he did. now? I do not know. perhaps boils down to nothing. and that scares me. Because for me it is very sad that feeling disappear .. despite also be a relief. desperation and relieving ... months ago I saw myself lost without him, my life didn't make perfect sense without having him. He was my sun and my moon. was half of me ... for 2 years. now? I look at him and start to see a person like the others. I can live without it. in fact I even like more being without him. and what I feel ... I dont know where it is. if it is. I feel despair because all this goes against my principles. I was aware of what I wanted and felt and it all collapsed.. and I dont like when it happens to me.. makes me look like a fool. makes me doubt what I think. bullshit
I rarely like someone ... is super hard because after all I am a lone wolf. only liked two persons in my life that I can truly say that they laid me down in a snap. something that is almost impossible to happen. I am a very cold sometimes ... but nobody goes cold from one moment to the other right? it takes many slaps. In fact, I have already taken enough. I do not regret it, even a little. I am proud to have gone through everything I went through and be aware. and since I am a strong woman...
sometimes although I am strong and confident what I want, I'm afraid to hurt again ... because when I have doubts or fear of something or someone I run away ... I'd rather be alone than to suffer again and again. By the same option. I'd rather be cold ... be alone. I'm happy in that way.
sorry for the rant .. but as I said this is the only place where I can really say what I think and feel.
Good stuff to show you!
24th of this month out my new set: blush:
"Growing Wednesday"
Long ago that I do not do a set and I loved doing this because besides being one of my favorite characters I'm a bit like her. so hope you like it
My lover's
I'm a really closed person... I cant tell my feelings cause its very difficult. so..writing for me is better...like a therapy.. these days have been so hard... I cant sleep well, I cant take care of me. nothing. so, now I want and need to tell everything is in my mind.
I have been super busy = I lost a bit who I am...I cant think what really means to me. what is good to me. what I need. cause my head is tired and is just a bag full of shit. I'm thinking 193749 things in the same time. really hate this. I like to be lucid.
Is impressive and fascinating as humans can feel feelings so powerful and so big. as if we could blow up with the whole world. is good to know that you were made for one person.
that it exists .. your life is a thousand times better. the world seems to you more
beautiful and more joyful. the heart stops when we see it... and just look at her to know that all is well. because nothing else matters ... just her. you know that life is not easy for you, that you spent many obstacles but it's there... in thought, by our will, always will be. The world could end but she'll be there .. But there is one thing more powerful than that in the world. I and I realized that now. the ability of that person to destroy all that great feeling. and ... well .. how life it's funny.. As a person reaches a point ... no longer able to fight for their feeling. however much we want. how that person was able to destroy a feeling so strong? it's sad but it's still funny.
because life is always surprising us, and when we do not expect something happens .. situation that you had the certainty that nothing would destroy it ... is gone. he was my
life, despite everything that has happened ... after all he did. now? I do not know. perhaps boils down to nothing. and that scares me. Because for me it is very sad that feeling disappear .. despite also be a relief. desperation and relieving ... months ago I saw myself lost without him, my life didn't make perfect sense without having him. He was my sun and my moon. was half of me ... for 2 years. now? I look at him and start to see a person like the others. I can live without it. in fact I even like more being without him. and what I feel ... I dont know where it is. if it is. I feel despair because all this goes against my principles. I was aware of what I wanted and felt and it all collapsed.. and I dont like when it happens to me.. makes me look like a fool. makes me doubt what I think. bullshit
I rarely like someone ... is super hard because after all I am a lone wolf. only liked two persons in my life that I can truly say that they laid me down in a snap. something that is almost impossible to happen. I am a very cold sometimes ... but nobody goes cold from one moment to the other right? it takes many slaps. In fact, I have already taken enough. I do not regret it, even a little. I am proud to have gone through everything I went through and be aware. and since I am a strong woman...
sometimes although I am strong and confident what I want, I'm afraid to hurt again ... because when I have doubts or fear of something or someone I run away ... I'd rather be alone than to suffer again and again. By the same option. I'd rather be cold ... be alone. I'm happy in that way.
sorry for the rant .. but as I said this is the only place where I can really say what I think and feel.
Good stuff to show you!
24th of this month out my new set: blush:
"Growing Wednesday"
Long ago that I do not do a set and I loved doing this because besides being one of my favorite characters I'm a bit like her. so hope you like it
My lover's
That random selfies
I went to Braga and Lisbon in work (and fun of courseee)
FUN FUN DAYS
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
on this day I was an attraction for tourists literally. Really funny
I had this kittykittykitty animal in me. worst sensation of my life!
food food food all the food for me!
on this day I was an attraction for tourists literally. Really funny
I had this kittykittykitty animal in me. worst sensation of my life!
food food food all the food for me!
so much food that I ended up getting fat 5k in 4 months. I'm a fatty fatty now bahhh
discovering my mother nature
works:
Rui Neves
Art gifts <3 I lovee this!
I have to thank all the people who read my blogs and give them opinion. Is soooo important to me know what you guys think about what I tell. makes me feel I'm not alone in this world. Thank you for everything you have done for me. you guys are part of me!
'm not always here but can always find me :
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love you all <3
Your Illusion
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PS: Cant wait to see the new set, you look everyday more gorgeous!