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illuminatus

Harrisburg

Member Since 2008

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Monday Aug 09, 2010

Aug 9, 2010
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you know what, completely fuck twitter. too damn complicated with the blogging.

anyways, someone inquired into my history. heres the background story on how this came about. my good friend, jim, is a rather intriguing and very humorous individual. former marine, has that slightly crazy side to him thats common among marines. anyways, he told me an old friend got in contact with him recently, a pastor of sorts. and he questioned a small part of me he knows about, when i was a youth pastor. and here comes his question, and i quote:

"how did you go from being a pastor to an almost offensive atheist?" which i corrected him to "theist"

there sure is a lot that goes into it, about my childhood and my parents, my brother's death, my step father... many many things. i would, however, have to say that the strongest influence on defining my stand on religion came from the war. out there, there is a shit load of port-o-john poets, and an equally high amount of chuck norris jokes. but one day, i caught a phrase in one i will never forget.

"one of two things happen to a man in war. he either gains faith or loses it."

i can only wonder which of the two i fall under....

heres my problem with the use of religion during war. the mere fact of the matter is, both side are praying to the same god, both for victory, but only one emerges. i get the usual "no we pray to god, they pray to allah" in which i have to clarify that allah means god... and allah is their one true god. sound like anything with may hold a bit too high?

even such, even if thats true, lets assume they ARE two different gods. then what is being said is that it all boils down to a "my daddy can beat up your daddy" we used to pull as kids. a childish tactic, yet with no resolution at all. they say "allah akbar" (praise be to god) when they kill soldiers, soldiers pray to god for protection. if that fails, its "god's will." i certainly got enough of "god's will" out there, and have certainly felt the force of "allah akbar." my god vs your god.

it was not a question of truth, not where my lack of belief of a god comes from, merely where my decision to follow came from.

just figured i would share.

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