fuck
the dreams continue to haunt, and are only increasing in intensity recently. after visiting the VA hospital and taking my mental health screening, i got to get some out, if only for a brief moment, but it helped to get things off my chest. my first full appointment is may 26th, and already the things are returning.
waking up angry, depressed, terrified, in tears. waking up in a confusing frenzy, searching for cover and searching for my weapon. waking up staring at the window, analyzing the street wondering where the best place for enemy cover is. waking up in sweat looking for my buddy. he needs aid. he needs something.
NCD.needle chest decompression. its whats used for a sunken chest wound. when something penetrates the lungs inside, and the air starts to hemorrhage into the chest, causing the pressure in the cavity to increase, collapsing the lung. then, it applies pressure to the heart, making it beat slower and more painfully. the stomach shrinks and shrivels in a combination of the pressure and the body's attempt to make room. NCD. thats the fix. a 3.25 inch long 12 gauge needle, find the third rib down, go the the soft area between the bones. insert needle, remove leaving the catheter. find plastic pad. cover it over the wound with three pieces of tape, leaving the bottom outer corner open. during inhale, the plastic will seal the wound shut. when blood builds up it will leak out of the wound and drain out that open corner. adds about two to three hours to the victims life. in iraq, thats enough to save a life. my friend. my brother.
and he needs it, but i awake alone, he is nowhere in sight. the pings stop, the adrenaline slows, my heart returns to normal. but my mind cannot release these images. its going to be a long fucking day.
EDIT:
its true, shutting your emotion off in times of pain or struggle can prevent the pain. but if we never feel the pain, if we never allow our body's to feel both sides of the spectrum, how can we ever expect to grow?
i feel the pain, i move on. through my whole life.... and i have become stronger because of it each time.
the dreams continue to haunt, and are only increasing in intensity recently. after visiting the VA hospital and taking my mental health screening, i got to get some out, if only for a brief moment, but it helped to get things off my chest. my first full appointment is may 26th, and already the things are returning.
waking up angry, depressed, terrified, in tears. waking up in a confusing frenzy, searching for cover and searching for my weapon. waking up staring at the window, analyzing the street wondering where the best place for enemy cover is. waking up in sweat looking for my buddy. he needs aid. he needs something.
NCD.needle chest decompression. its whats used for a sunken chest wound. when something penetrates the lungs inside, and the air starts to hemorrhage into the chest, causing the pressure in the cavity to increase, collapsing the lung. then, it applies pressure to the heart, making it beat slower and more painfully. the stomach shrinks and shrivels in a combination of the pressure and the body's attempt to make room. NCD. thats the fix. a 3.25 inch long 12 gauge needle, find the third rib down, go the the soft area between the bones. insert needle, remove leaving the catheter. find plastic pad. cover it over the wound with three pieces of tape, leaving the bottom outer corner open. during inhale, the plastic will seal the wound shut. when blood builds up it will leak out of the wound and drain out that open corner. adds about two to three hours to the victims life. in iraq, thats enough to save a life. my friend. my brother.
and he needs it, but i awake alone, he is nowhere in sight. the pings stop, the adrenaline slows, my heart returns to normal. but my mind cannot release these images. its going to be a long fucking day.
EDIT:
its true, shutting your emotion off in times of pain or struggle can prevent the pain. but if we never feel the pain, if we never allow our body's to feel both sides of the spectrum, how can we ever expect to grow?
i feel the pain, i move on. through my whole life.... and i have become stronger because of it each time.
my ex went overseas (marine corps- 2005) and took a lot of shit, lost a lot of friends...he came back really, really fucked up
fubar really
the only thing that really helped him was talking.
need a pal who understands and such, let me know. i am here.
btdt