as is usual with me, i always seem to know something about myself that is a problem, yet i dont see it that way. it usually takes the statement of another to make it obvious to me. sad thing is... once i see it, at first i enter this weird stage of internal dissidence, where i start to have conflicting thoughts and arguments in my own head. eventually, i succumb to it. i realize it, i see the truth. but almost never within enough time to react appropriately.
knowing others is intelligence, knowing yourself is wisdom. mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power.
so.... i have a decent level of intelligence, and gaining rapidly good wisdom. i want to be strong, but first i must obtain true power. with this in mind i have taken another... EXTREMELY large step toward my ultimate goal. i have enrolled myself into the va health care system for PTSD treatment, as well as some physical complications i have been having, and few have actually seen.
the effects of the war and my time in the army in general are much larger than i have anticipated. much more damaging than i have prepared myself for. in the military, thinking a lot is self destructive in the long run. my subconscious ability to over analyze certain things, to include my time over seas, has caused severe cognitive dissonance, and has begun a cycle of destruction, one that i have so far been able keep under control with logic.
a man is only wise when he begins to calculate the approximate depth of his ignorance.
im not binge drinking, though i have the desire to get drunk all the time but cant afford to. im not getting into fights at the bars because i simply do not want any legal trouble in my life, though i think about it every time. im not starting violent arguments as much as i want to, though sadly the only one i did was self destructive enough as it is.
I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day. - E.B. White
im stopping things. im no longer going to concern myself with problems not of my own, to exclude a couple choice people. before i can try to learn other people, before i can help other people, and before i can share myself with other people, i must master myself. i must obtain true power.
"thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put ones thoughts into actions is the most difficult thing in the world." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
eventually, i will reach a point where i AM myself, and where i WILL show the world what they arent seeing anymore, what i havent shown in a very long time. i have much more to offer than... this.
"we must become the change we want to see." - Mahatma Ghandi
knowing others is intelligence, knowing yourself is wisdom. mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power.
so.... i have a decent level of intelligence, and gaining rapidly good wisdom. i want to be strong, but first i must obtain true power. with this in mind i have taken another... EXTREMELY large step toward my ultimate goal. i have enrolled myself into the va health care system for PTSD treatment, as well as some physical complications i have been having, and few have actually seen.
the effects of the war and my time in the army in general are much larger than i have anticipated. much more damaging than i have prepared myself for. in the military, thinking a lot is self destructive in the long run. my subconscious ability to over analyze certain things, to include my time over seas, has caused severe cognitive dissonance, and has begun a cycle of destruction, one that i have so far been able keep under control with logic.
a man is only wise when he begins to calculate the approximate depth of his ignorance.
im not binge drinking, though i have the desire to get drunk all the time but cant afford to. im not getting into fights at the bars because i simply do not want any legal trouble in my life, though i think about it every time. im not starting violent arguments as much as i want to, though sadly the only one i did was self destructive enough as it is.
I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day. - E.B. White
im stopping things. im no longer going to concern myself with problems not of my own, to exclude a couple choice people. before i can try to learn other people, before i can help other people, and before i can share myself with other people, i must master myself. i must obtain true power.
"thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put ones thoughts into actions is the most difficult thing in the world." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
eventually, i will reach a point where i AM myself, and where i WILL show the world what they arent seeing anymore, what i havent shown in a very long time. i have much more to offer than... this.
"we must become the change we want to see." - Mahatma Ghandi