alright, so its been awhile...... a long fucking while
where to start? well how bout where ive been
recently ive been preparing for the next phase in my life
leave the army next month, start school in houston in september.
4 years ago today i started my goodbyes to all my friends,
and now i start again.
this time is a bit harder
some of these people,
ive never felt this close to non family before.
these people have been my friends through the hardest of times
they have seen my faults, witnessed my mistakes
and still remain as close as they have.
i will miss them horribly
mixed with this depression is an equal amount of excitement
im back to being in the unknown again
and moving on towards what ive always wanted
nervous? yes
anxious? extremely
over the past while ive been through all the shit again
some may know ive recently been engaged in a relationship that started on this very site
a relationship that did not end so well
time and time again i find myself in that very position
at least this time i had the fucking heart and testicular fortitude to step up and say something
and stopped puttin up with shit
at the same time i learned something about myself
i learned what it is i really want in another now
it definitely wasnt what i had there
and i learned more about people
for some reason my drinking has really picked up
its harder now
more and more, faster and faster
i dont know why
it may be this moving on
it may be the feeling of loneliness again
knowing now what it is i truely want
and how hard it is to find it
i mean fuck ive even stopped picking up girls at the clubs
been on a bit of a cold streak in the fucking catagory
dont want much to do with people in this area
or maybe its the sad realization of the dramatic life change i am about to encounter
from a soldier with money to a poor student lol
partying it up as much as i can before this change occurs
ah well
as known to few, my father has been the figure in my life that always has advise
my mother has my heart, my father has my attention
recently he has told me two things that stick with me
one is that i am the heart of this family
the other..... "i am a survivor"
it will be these phrases that will keep me going for the next couple years.
im going to need my heart to make it through
and i will survive
and come out on top
where to start? well how bout where ive been
recently ive been preparing for the next phase in my life
leave the army next month, start school in houston in september.
4 years ago today i started my goodbyes to all my friends,
and now i start again.
this time is a bit harder
some of these people,
ive never felt this close to non family before.
these people have been my friends through the hardest of times
they have seen my faults, witnessed my mistakes
and still remain as close as they have.
i will miss them horribly
mixed with this depression is an equal amount of excitement
im back to being in the unknown again
and moving on towards what ive always wanted
nervous? yes
anxious? extremely
over the past while ive been through all the shit again
some may know ive recently been engaged in a relationship that started on this very site
a relationship that did not end so well
time and time again i find myself in that very position
at least this time i had the fucking heart and testicular fortitude to step up and say something
and stopped puttin up with shit
at the same time i learned something about myself
i learned what it is i really want in another now
it definitely wasnt what i had there
and i learned more about people
for some reason my drinking has really picked up
its harder now
more and more, faster and faster
i dont know why
it may be this moving on
it may be the feeling of loneliness again
knowing now what it is i truely want
and how hard it is to find it
i mean fuck ive even stopped picking up girls at the clubs
been on a bit of a cold streak in the fucking catagory
dont want much to do with people in this area
or maybe its the sad realization of the dramatic life change i am about to encounter
from a soldier with money to a poor student lol
partying it up as much as i can before this change occurs
ah well
as known to few, my father has been the figure in my life that always has advise
my mother has my heart, my father has my attention
recently he has told me two things that stick with me
one is that i am the heart of this family
the other..... "i am a survivor"
it will be these phrases that will keep me going for the next couple years.
im going to need my heart to make it through
and i will survive
and come out on top
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
You're so young, you'll be graced with a lot of awesome things in this life, don't worry at all.