illuminatus

so what does one do
return from the desert
and yet i find myself in a very similar place
sick of the childish fooling around
sick of the single life
i want to settle down
i want to finally be with someone....
....someone i can lay next to and hold
say those three words to
yet this is also a horrible time and place
out of the army in august
moving to houston for school
then who knows where ill be after that
who could settle down with someone like me right now?
and these fuckin urges...
only make things worse
its so hard ot find the right one
anytime i think ive found it
im either pushed away and neglected
or lied to and destroyed
so where does that leave me?
am i destined for loneliness
is kharma coming back for me
after all the wrong that i have done
and yet
after all the pain ive felt
and all the pain ive caused
this is how i live
no pain
and no joy
just breath after lonely breath.....