Yeah so, him and I gave it another shot... 
And instead of the wonderful reconcilation that I was hoping for, we got drunk and ended up having the end all be all of fights. I made a complete asshole out of myself and because of it.. I doubt he'll ever trust me again. I'm a fucking idiot. I was drunk is never an acceptable answer, but how does alcohol some how magically assist in your doing or saying things you'd never dream of doing in a million years? I hate myself so much right now. 
And instead of the wonderful reconcilation that I was hoping for, we got drunk and ended up having the end all be all of fights. I made a complete asshole out of myself and because of it.. I doubt he'll ever trust me again. I'm a fucking idiot. I was drunk is never an acceptable answer, but how does alcohol some how magically assist in your doing or saying things you'd never dream of doing in a million years? I hate myself so much right now. 
alsandair:
There's an old saying. A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts. Sometimes it helps get things out that really need to come out. As bad as it hurts at the time.
ilektra:
This was more of a huge misunderstanding.. impact versus intent.