ilanoambrose

I’m in a really funny place right now, in my mind. It’s one of those spots you wander to when you don’t got anywhere else to go. It’s cozy, and disgusting, and you hate it, but you stay, you stay and wait, but that’s what makes you stay. And I wish I could say I don’t know how I got here, but I do. I do. It’s this guy. This old dead man. This old dead man who’s gone now. He got me there. My grief got me here. I gotta admit that. Like I’m in fuckin aa again and I’m standing up and screaming yea I’m Ambrose Ilano and my grandfather’s dead. Hi Ambrose. God damn this life, where your heroes affect your visions and your dreams quake for no reason. Or plenty reason depending on your perspective. Is death a good reason for you to stall? To pause. Who knows right? Not me. Definitely not me. I wake up pump myself with false hope and die in sleep. The next morning I gotta a hangover of pity and I wallow in my shit for a couple of hours. Next day realize how disgusting I am, and pump myself again. What a life. How did I get here?