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il_brutto

Tyler, Tx.

Member Since 2004

Followers 15 Following 13

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Monday Jun 13, 2005

Jun 12, 2005
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I realized Ive become the SG friend that I've always hated. The one that never talks to anyone or replies to comments or reads anyone's journals. This isnt an apology, Just an acknowledgment.

From the Vault

1. Raising Cain
Theres a lot of back story here but Ill just cut to the meat. When I was about 6 my family came on hard times and we lived in a homeless shelter for while. In the house the men (My father and two older brothers.) slept down stairs and the women and children (My mother and younger sister.) slept upstairs. Most of the people were nice there and then there was a lady by the name of Cain. She was about 7 months pregnant and she slept on her stomach. Not crazy enough for you? Well one night I woke up to someone singing. It was coming from outside on the fire escape. It was Cain going up and down the fire escape singing "Three Blind Mice". I heard someone say she was holding a knife but I dont remember witnessing that. After seeing that I was never the same again. SG here I come.

2. Airport Security
My first memory is when I was 3 years old. I was in an air port. An air port bathroom actually. I was using the air hand drier thingy. I had been in there for a while playing with that thing. To this day my parents think I have a fascination with them. Really I was just hoping someone would think about me and come and find me. Funny some things never change.

3. Whatever You Say I Am.
When I was a Junior in HS my english teacher assigned us a writing project. He went around the room asking which author we wanted to do a report on. As he did this he wrote our names by the authors name in his book. When the class ended he accidentally left the book in the class room. We didnt find it until a few periods after. We noticed that there wasn't a name by every author. Sometimes there was a description. Adopted Glasses Plays basketball... Black Kid It didnt hurt that he didnt know my name. He was old. But he could have called me anything. "So and so's brother." "What's his names friend" He could have called me by my brothers name. Hell everyone else did.It hurt that that was the first thing he thought of when he saw me. Keep in mind that this is a man who had known not just me but my family for the past four years. This was a man I respected. I was going to confront him about this during the next class. He called my name to answer a question. Oh, you know my name now? Of course I do. Ive know you and your family for years. I told him I read his book descriptions. He was speechless. The whole class died laughing. Except me. I was serious. Is this really the first thing you think about when you see me? Still speechless. Only the people in my classroom knew about the incident. I never told my parents or anyone. I guess I should thank him for the experience. Its not everyday you get to see whats inside someone's head. To this day I still wonder about everyone I meet What is it you really see?

4. For The Last Time I Dont Have A Fetish!
When I was in Jr. H. There was this girl I thought was really cute. I could tell she liked me too. I wanted to ask her out. In between classes I asked my friend what he thought about her. Natalie? The fat chick? Instantaneously my view of her changed. She wasnt cute anymore. Now in a matter of seconds she was fat. (lets get this strait. She wasnt obese. She was curvy, maybe even pear shaped but she wasnt 300 lb. or anything.) Ive always been ashamed of that. Since then I think I have redeemed myself. My goal is to be rejected by every ethnicity, age (ok, ok btw 21 and 40) and body type. And let me tell ya, Im doing pretty well.

5. Silly Kids With Their Hippidy Hop Music
I got this message on myspace a week ago: i got love 4 any one who do this shit right. i dont supose u could help me wit my stucture give me some pointers coz yo i need to work on it people esay my structure is wack n it needs work. hope u can help dogg holla back at me I did give him some pointers but at the end I had to put this: If English is your first language you need to study more of it. I had to read your message about 3 times before I understood what you meant. And I couldn't read the all of your profile. If you can construct a sentence you can construct a song. That's not a dis. Just the truth.
By the way if this sounds like too much work then you shouldn't be rapping. He hasnt written me back yet.

kiss
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
gish:
hey, I wouldnt forget you. dont make ME prove it tongue
Jun 16, 2005
chocolatejesus:
That was a great journal entry. I'm gonna have to go digest it.

Did that kid write you back yet?

About the "fat" chick. I get that way too. Still to this day. I'll see a girl who i think is hot and my friend's like "She's trashy/fat/ugly" and just like that I've totally changed my opinion.
Jun 18, 2005

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