for what I am
am i seen for what i am
i'm not a user
that's just my facade
i push as far as i can go
until it's over
i'm not a bad guy
but i do bad things
i don't have addictions
except for the obvious one
her
but is that an obsession
or insane fucking thoughts
she can't live with me
and i can't live
without her
i am a false prophet too
i admit that
correction
a false messenger
i trumpet my egotistical mannerisms
i herald my one dimensional emotions
i embrace my insecurities
and i wear them like a
pair of ill fitting boots
i stamp around so much so
that no one even bothers
to look down
and see that they don't fit
no one sees that
i am uncomfortable
smoke and mirrors
the ability to obfuscate
and hide what's true
truly what i am am
i have become so adept
at being my facade
that when i do show
myself
that's when you think
something is wrong
honesty
caring
loving
not me
not the me that is
a good host
a friend
a freak
i am all those things
and so much less
maybe i am seen for what i am
maybe