Today has been a good day. A couple of levels in Wildstar, a couple of episodes in Outlaw Star, and a few emails with her. No call, but we rescheduled for Tuesday. Will watch one more episode of Outlaw Star then go to bed.
Lack of sleep is getting to me. Took a double dose of my meds today to see if that would do anything. Was angry a lot today. Will test again tomorrow, which will bring consumption to equal what would be consumed if I hadn't forgotten a couple days of doses. May need to adjust meds further when I hit the states, but there is no...
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Submitted my novel to publishing yesterday. Should be fine as it is a self publishing sort of company that is an Amazon subsidiary.
Less than a month left until I am out of the desert. Less than a month until I am back in the land of the living, where my life might stop being on pause.
So why is my depression getting worse again?
Thirty eight plus or minus days until I get out of here and back to civilization.
Why the hell am I always so beaten down on Thursdays and better the day after? Or at least wanting to karaoke on any day but the day that is karaoke night? Ugh. Maybe I will feel better after food.
It was nerve wracking at first, but it was fun. Isn't that the way things are? I feel foolish for worrying, but at the same time, how would I have known then what I know now. Looking forward to seeing this develop.
Two more hours. Three more hours until we talk for the first time. I'm scared. Scared that reality won't live up to the expectation. Either direction is scary.
Still looking forward to going back to the states. Tired of this damned country. I need to stop complaining about everything.
It's almost five in the morning. I have been awake since four. Considering staying up to go get breakfast and a head start on the day or going back to sleep. Sleep would probably be better, despite the abundance I had last night.
I did alright today, despite barely sleeping last night. Crashing now, emotionally and physically. Does one cause the other? Who knows. What I do know is that I really do not want to look up a bunch of NSNs. I just want to sleep, but if I go to sleep now I will likely not be awake early enough to finish the task on time....
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It's been almost two weeks since I posted here. I would say there has been nothing to say that I haven't already bitched about before, but that isn't true. I was told I would get to go away for a week for a certificate class. That was a lie. My best friend arrived here. We've seen each other once.
Par for the course.
I am...
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