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ikax

Saugus

Member Since 2004

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Saturday Jun 19, 2004

Jun 19, 2004
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Today I went to James aka Peter Parker's today, with his lady type. On the way to his house, we were in a parking lot that reminded me exactly of a couple in TX. I would do anything to spend one more night with Robin. Going to wallmart at 3AM, or anything. I got a little choked up, but I was fine. I said something funny about myself and the girl laughed, a little. It was wonderful. I love hearing a girl laugh.

I helped him set up his video card to his cable tv. Now he can watch tv on his computer. He was quite giddy about it.

Earlier tonight I noticed it was windy and cool ourside, so I decided I wanted to go for a walk. I had to get myself together, even if only a little bit. It was a wonderful walk. I walked the same street I have my entire life. I thought about walking to the busstop every day, ever since kindergarden, with my best friend, Lisa, and throwing a football back and forth with my other good friend, Tom. I went down the adjacent street, and thought about how many times I went trick or treating down that road, and how I'd never wear that vampire costume that my mom made me (that was actually pretty incredible when I think about it now, I think she still has it somewhere. She was always the arts and crafts god.) I thought a little later, when I had that friend, Eric. And even....Jen....I wont get into stories about her, for the sake of my mental health.

I decided I didn't want to walk past the nightclub, so I turned around and headed back. I started to think about the earth. Whenever I look at developments and roads and signs and buildings, I think of wounds in the earth, and we're just the mold that grew out of them. Those small patches of grass or plants at intersections and parking lots are a mockery...

I thought about Robin again when I came close to home. I almost cried a little bit, but I was probably just forcing it; I haven't cried in a while. I'm over Robin; I might get stuck in one spot sometimes, but I never move backwards.

The walk was a good idea. I feel very clean, and very humble.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
sugarbabydoll:
hello to you too!! *waves*

kiss
Jun 20, 2004
rickroyal:
It's odd how an action or a place or even the suggestion of either can be so closely tied with another person. A while back I was in a grocery store at 3am and I got a little teary when I realized that a while back I was there every week with the Italian Girl at that time. And, you're right, it's rarely about wanting to go back; more about a moment of human weakness.

Nothing like a walk to clear out the randomness in the neurons.
Jun 21, 2004

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