ihatework

ok. so it always amazes me how different people are. what may give someone a headache is someone elses wet dream. This entry was sparked by a conversation i was having with a great female member of this site, shessometal check her out.

anyway, sheessometal is a big city loving lady, and I am totally sick of living in such a big place,which happens to be the smallest place she would live. She sees New York as this great place with tons of culture and a bunch of other stuff we didnt get into. to me, New York is just one big slab of cement and interests me very little. just how the idea of beauty and interest can be sooo different.

Generally this diversity is intriguing and what makes humans so great. Its hard for me to deal with sometimes though, especially when it is someone very close to me. I've always been struck by this and my inability to sway peoples opinions. Maybe its just egotistical on my point. Because you know my beliefs are the greatest . You just want someone to believe or find something the same way as you soo bad but they cant and wont.

sometimes its egotism, sometimes its just my flaws and insecurities. I am truly amazed by anyone who has found a passion in their life. be it art, or music, or selling stocks on walstreet. I have not found a passion like this, I have not chosen a god, a sports team, a model, a band, or anything to worship or be passionate about. and somehow my identity is determined through this non-commital or anticlique. which is hard, cause I am often lost or floundering, so when i find someone who can so strongly align themselves with something and it clearly defines them, I am jealous.

often i feel scrutinized by the minions of idol worshiping normals that surround me on a daily basis. I keep my opinions and ideals quiet so I will not be attacked. I search out similar wanderers to continue my search with, but weare all lost.

ok i could keep rambling. but i wont. please leave an opinion on this entry for me.