Ranting is my emotional band-aide
....
Sometimes people hurt us. Sometimes, people say horrible things to us. Sometimes people say horrible things about us.
People occasionally hurt us with a pure mechanical intention of malice.
If one could project oneself into the body of their attacker. One would see that, in their eyes, everything is out of focus. In their head, everything is very cluttered, distorted, and confused.
One would get a sense of the disengaged perception that this person lives with. Their out of focus eyes are haunted by memories, beliefs, and regrets that obscure their perception like soot on the lens of a camera. Like their eyes are periscopes constructed with fun-house mirrors.
And one would see for an instant how hurtful words might grow there. And one would see how harmless they are.
They can hardly see you. In fact, the person they see isn't even you.
They have no idea who you are. They have no idea who they're talking to. They don't even know you.
It's as if they were talking to a stranger.
...
Then you'd realize that this very hurtful, personal attack was a random event, as though you passed a crazy person on the street who shouts profanities.
Still, it hurts.
But, knowing that they have no idea what they're doing who they're doing it to, it doesn't stop it from hurting.
...
My attacker set into motion events that periodically reopen my wounds. An insult which echoes throughout my world, bouncing back... INSULT... Insult... insult... (insult)...
The one who injured me is impotent... They can't hurt me with any attack... I'm bulletproof when it comes to them... But the effects of those attacks on the environment around me is maddening and painful...
I'm way to sensitive for my own good...
....
Sometimes people hurt us. Sometimes, people say horrible things to us. Sometimes people say horrible things about us.
People occasionally hurt us with a pure mechanical intention of malice.
If one could project oneself into the body of their attacker. One would see that, in their eyes, everything is out of focus. In their head, everything is very cluttered, distorted, and confused.
One would get a sense of the disengaged perception that this person lives with. Their out of focus eyes are haunted by memories, beliefs, and regrets that obscure their perception like soot on the lens of a camera. Like their eyes are periscopes constructed with fun-house mirrors.
And one would see for an instant how hurtful words might grow there. And one would see how harmless they are.
They can hardly see you. In fact, the person they see isn't even you.
They have no idea who you are. They have no idea who they're talking to. They don't even know you.
It's as if they were talking to a stranger.
...
Then you'd realize that this very hurtful, personal attack was a random event, as though you passed a crazy person on the street who shouts profanities.
Still, it hurts.
But, knowing that they have no idea what they're doing who they're doing it to, it doesn't stop it from hurting.
...
My attacker set into motion events that periodically reopen my wounds. An insult which echoes throughout my world, bouncing back... INSULT... Insult... insult... (insult)...
The one who injured me is impotent... They can't hurt me with any attack... I'm bulletproof when it comes to them... But the effects of those attacks on the environment around me is maddening and painful...
I'm way to sensitive for my own good...
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
cinnamongurl:
I have actually screamed that at someone before. Not in those exact words. I believe I said " IT'S OK TO FEEL" and "IT'S OKAY TO SHOW YOUR FEELINGS". People are always too afraid what others will think of them, that they can't even express their own feelings, expressions, to cry or to laugh loudly. 
cinnamongurl:
And hey you are in L.A. Hello neighbor 