igordog

I'm fucked.... writing and writing... painting and painting... I'm so emotionally warn out.
...I'm totally out of fuel. If the big earthquake came right now, I'd likely just lie down and go to sleep... waiting for the power outages to kill the lights...
...I haven't slept more than a few hours in the last forty-eight... I've hardly eaten a thing... food is as bland as a dried out sponge.

It all catches up to you in the end... you can't outrun things that live inside your own head...

self-deceptions can only protect you for so long before they shatter in the wake of these sober moments of dark reflection...


...Maybe that'll be my next series... things living in my head... paintings of ghosts shown within x-rays of my skull...
...An xray of a skull with an empty wallet in it. Xrays of a skull with broken heart in it.... an xray of skull containing a terrified little boy that was once me... an x-ray of a hideous vile blond witch who was my step-mother... an xray of a skull with a torn up wedding photo in it.

Hehe, an x-ray of a wedding photo... that'd be an ex-ray... oh man, I must be warn out to think that that was funny....

Fuck-in-a-hat...


...I'm feeling the gravity of my lonely state of divorce... I almost feel like I deserve it too. I almost want to punish myself with old photographs and videos tapes.


... Only now have I realized the parallel movement of my building angst and the rapid approach of my wedding anniversary...
...I'm wounded...