igordog

Life seems so unreal that there are times when I'm not even sure if something happened or if I had just had a dream about it.

Things like the date, the day of the week keep escaping my notice.

Like it's adult onset attention deficit disorder.

Occasionally I entertain=in the thought that it's heavy metal poisoning from the paints that I use. But I use superfluous precaution, so I would seriously doubt it.

I think ultimately, THe reality I had known has been so totally fucked with, that the unknown factors of my new reality simply possess a factor of dubious tangibility...

Hell, I was playing poker the other night, and the second I put down the cards, I had forgotten what they were. I was having to use mnemonics just to keep the cards in my head.

My thoughts are elsewhere. Although, possible they're nowhere.
Thooughts of physics, metaphysics, fighting, violence, love, regret, mystery, misery.... Thoughts of where I'm going and where I've been, but not a single one about where I'm at.

Like when you walk into a room and have forgotten why you went there in the first place. Well, that's my whole life....

There's simply no more room in my skull....

I need a trepanation drill.