I've split with my long long long time girl....

I've moved into a tiny single apartment... just me and my dog....

Putting my life into little boxes... deciding what stays and what goes.... Deciding what's worth remembering and what should be thrown away...

Reviewing old digital videotapes and such....

Recordings of parties.... Baby pics of pets... vacations and such....

Y2K new years eve in vegas... me and my girl are in a tux and a wedding gown respectivly.... We were pretending to have gotten married.... we we were milking the honeymoon in vegas free room upgrades and such for us and all our friends.... Everybody was so happy for us...

It was so much fun....

A trip to Hunduras.... scuba diving, tropical drinks, fresh seafood, lounging in the sun...

Records of friends who've come and gone...


It's all so difficult.....

...and the girl.... she just plain fucking hates me...

Ughh.... it was easier when it was still all a blur....
But now the picture is becoming uncomfortbly sharp now....

The magnitude of the collapse of a twelve year relationship has become manifest within my heart....

I feel like crying my eyes out... I feel like drinking myself into a stuper.... but I do neither, and just keep going through these fucking boxes....

File this under broken heart.... file this under a wasted decade... File this under regret.... file this under bitter....