Nightmares last night...
A few years ago, dream and nightmare were synominous to me.
I'd go to sleep, and shut my eyes, and almost without exception soemthing horrible would happen...
If it was a bad one, and I awoke at any point , there was no fucking way that I was going back to sleep. The lost hours of sleep were generally a fair trade...
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A few years ago, dream and nightmare were synominous to me.
I'd go to sleep, and shut my eyes, and almost without exception soemthing horrible would happen...
If it was a bad one, and I awoke at any point , there was no fucking way that I was going back to sleep. The lost hours of sleep were generally a fair trade...
Read More
...a dark turn in my mood... stupid fears from old ghosts coming out to haunt me... ghosts that betrayed me, ghosts that seethed bitter hate at me, ghosts that abandoned me for other men and women, ghosts that once enjoyed my loving touch and later recoiled from it, ghosts who used me as a weapon to hurt other people, and apathetic ghosts who never even...
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A three billion to one roll of the dice has led me to a woman who had, within a single night, made me fall in love with her...
I hunger for her body, even when fed to excess.
She inspires love and likewise terror..
She fills a lonely void within me, and thus makes me all the more lonely when she is gone.
When I...
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I hunger for her body, even when fed to excess.
She inspires love and likewise terror..
She fills a lonely void within me, and thus makes me all the more lonely when she is gone.
When I...
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dragynn:
dork! =P
i think you need a livejournal. that way i can more readily read your thoughts. i kinda have to sneak log on here at work. but lj is work safe.
meow.
see you soon.
R
i think you need a livejournal. that way i can more readily read your thoughts. i kinda have to sneak log on here at work. but lj is work safe.
meow.
see you soon.
R
Human beings.... half-scientist, half-simian...
half-beastly, half-angelic.... At best we're all only
arbitrarily rational, and only periodically lucid
enough to act upon those rational thoughts if we
manage to have one.
We're all jumbles of misfiring neurons and dubiously
engineered concoctions of chemical emotions.
Were it not for the inability of the human mind to
objectively collate the limited contents of our
accumulated knowledge, we would...
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half-beastly, half-angelic.... At best we're all only
arbitrarily rational, and only periodically lucid
enough to act upon those rational thoughts if we
manage to have one.
We're all jumbles of misfiring neurons and dubiously
engineered concoctions of chemical emotions.
Were it not for the inability of the human mind to
objectively collate the limited contents of our
accumulated knowledge, we would...
Read More
Life seems so unreal that there are times when I'm not even sure if something happened or if I had just had a dream about it.
Things like the date, the day of the week keep escaping my notice.
Like it's adult onset attention deficit disorder.
Occasionally I entertain=in the thought that it's heavy metal poisoning from the paints that I use. But I use...
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Things like the date, the day of the week keep escaping my notice.
Like it's adult onset attention deficit disorder.
Occasionally I entertain=in the thought that it's heavy metal poisoning from the paints that I use. But I use...
Read More
I've split with my long long long time girl....
I've moved into a tiny single apartment... just me and my dog....
Putting my life into little boxes... deciding what stays and what goes.... Deciding what's worth remembering and what should be thrown away...
Reviewing old digital videotapes and such....
Recordings of parties.... Baby pics of pets... vacations and such....
Y2K new years eve in vegas......
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I've moved into a tiny single apartment... just me and my dog....
Putting my life into little boxes... deciding what stays and what goes.... Deciding what's worth remembering and what should be thrown away...
Reviewing old digital videotapes and such....
Recordings of parties.... Baby pics of pets... vacations and such....
Y2K new years eve in vegas......
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Homeless..... there is a roof over my head, but it isn't my home....
I've left my long long long term girlfriend.... The model of life that brought us together simply can't work anymore....
And in leaving her, I've left my life as I knew it... left my three bedroom house for a single the size of a closet... left my comfort.... left my security... and...
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I've left my long long long term girlfriend.... The model of life that brought us together simply can't work anymore....
And in leaving her, I've left my life as I knew it... left my three bedroom house for a single the size of a closet... left my comfort.... left my security... and...
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spacey:
Wow. You have my sympathies, and also my congratulations. It must be a surreal situation to be in.
As you said, the future is up for grabs. Fresh cards. New dice.
Have you started and finished a painting since? I wonder how different your work will be now.
xo
As you said, the future is up for grabs. Fresh cards. New dice.
Have you started and finished a painting since? I wonder how different your work will be now.
xo
an0dyne:
i'm sorry about the breakup sweetheart.... and i'm wishing you best of luck in the journey down a new path.
When I think, my brain produces heat......
like the control rods have been removed from the brain-stem..... neutrons colliding with fissionable isotopes, releasing gamma rays and more neutrons that collide with more fissionable isotopes.
An uncontrolled chain reaction of overheated neurons......
Brains should be powered by fission reactions....
Then at night, before you wink out to sleep, you could insert carbon control rods deep within...
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like the control rods have been removed from the brain-stem..... neutrons colliding with fissionable isotopes, releasing gamma rays and more neutrons that collide with more fissionable isotopes.
An uncontrolled chain reaction of overheated neurons......
Brains should be powered by fission reactions....
Then at night, before you wink out to sleep, you could insert carbon control rods deep within...
Read More
I'm painting a painting of my dog curled up on a bed with an octorpus....
I spent a fair amount of time trying to reason out why one would paint a painting of this nature.... A metaphore? A record of an event? A joke?
I've heard people say that you can only paint three types of paintings: a painting of what you see, a painting...
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I spent a fair amount of time trying to reason out why one would paint a painting of this nature.... A metaphore? A record of an event? A joke?
I've heard people say that you can only paint three types of paintings: a painting of what you see, a painting...
Read More
I'm painting a painting of my dog curled up on a bed with an octorpus....
I spent a fair amount of time trying to reason out why one would paint a painting of this nature.... A metaphore? A record of an event? A joke?
Ehhh.... I think all in all, I'd like to cuddle with an octopus and my dog.....
I could call it Cuddle-Fish....
I spent a fair amount of time trying to reason out why one would paint a painting of this nature.... A metaphore? A record of an event? A joke?
Ehhh.... I think all in all, I'd like to cuddle with an octopus and my dog.....
I could call it Cuddle-Fish....
Soft rain last night and today.... most people cringe when it rains, I love it....
I was born in Los Angeles.... rain is a treat for me.... thunder makes me positivly giddy....
I love to sit in my car.... listening to rain beat down upon it.... city noises all drowned out....
All the wimpering hyrdophobics slink their way home, leaving the Los Angeles streets open...
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I was born in Los Angeles.... rain is a treat for me.... thunder makes me positivly giddy....
I love to sit in my car.... listening to rain beat down upon it.... city noises all drowned out....
All the wimpering hyrdophobics slink their way home, leaving the Los Angeles streets open...
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allura:
Yeah I diamonds are a type of carpet python just named differently 'cause of their markings and location. I know a few people who have diamond x carpets and they are really beautiful placid creatures but its illegal here to purpously breed them together even though it does happen naturally in some areas. Its understandable though.
Sorry to hear aut your little guy
Sorry to hear aut your little guy
shicawgo:
No one in the world could agree with you more than me about rain. Thunderstorms remind me I have a place in life...if only to witness such things.
I love you for using the word myopic. It's a fantastic sound.
I'm sorry you're so sick. Bruce Lee used to say that when you're sick or injured it's s important to growth as when you're working and growing and well. Do you think that applies to you at all? I think I hold on to that thought because I need to more than anything else. If anyone knows about being sick, it's me
I like your rants. I like your thought out comments. Tell me more about you...just start writing, don't try to make sense...gimme a stream of conciousness.....
I love you for using the word myopic. It's a fantastic sound.
I'm sorry you're so sick. Bruce Lee used to say that when you're sick or injured it's s important to growth as when you're working and growing and well. Do you think that applies to you at all? I think I hold on to that thought because I need to more than anything else. If anyone knows about being sick, it's me
I like your rants. I like your thought out comments. Tell me more about you...just start writing, don't try to make sense...gimme a stream of conciousness.....
Wow... man, I'm so sick right now....
I haven't been this sick in years.... it makes me embarassed of all the other times that I complained of being sick when I wasn't at all sick when contrasted with my current flu.....
I want and want and want to paint.... I've been such a slacker.... I've got like twenty canvases stretched and gessoed but not a...
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I haven't been this sick in years.... it makes me embarassed of all the other times that I complained of being sick when I wasn't at all sick when contrasted with my current flu.....
I want and want and want to paint.... I've been such a slacker.... I've got like twenty canvases stretched and gessoed but not a...
Read More
allura:
Thanks yeah it is obviously one of my designs. I got the lowest part done first and the the one down my spine after that. The one on my spine started out as just a drawing of the center celtic type piece but I didn't want just that on its own so I took inspiration from the tribal vines that I had painted on my bedroom wall and connected the vines to the top and bottom of the celtic piece. I have plans to get the rest of my back done but i'll probably have to wait a while untill I can save up.
My pythons are actually Diamond pythons but they are related to carpets and look very similar. the only difference is the colouring and part of Australia that they are found. They are usually black with white and yellow diamonds and are found in a small area in SE Australia.
Have a good weekend and I hope you are feeling better soon
yeah it is obviously one of my designs. I got the lowest part done first and the the one down my spine after that. The one on my spine started out as just a drawing of the center celtic type piece but I didn't want just that on its own so I took inspiration from the tribal vines that I had painted on my bedroom wall and connected the vines to the top and bottom of the celtic piece. I have plans to get the rest of my back done but i'll probably have to wait a while untill I can save up.
My pythons are actually Diamond pythons but they are related to carpets and look very similar. the only difference is the colouring and part of Australia that they are found. They are usually black with white and yellow diamonds and are found in a small area in SE Australia.
Have a good weekend and I hope you are feeling better soon