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igobymanynames

Reunion

Member Since 2004

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Thursday Dec 30, 2004

Dec 30, 2004
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Life is calling. As always, I answer. Someday, I think I may just not pick up or at least get my number changed.
-----
(later)
My karma with Insurance companies and medical places is amazing. How many times do they delay and then strike for my pocket book? How many times have I chased them back into their own corner, spun them around to chase the doctors, and made their lawyers / collection agencies silent in the past 1 1/2? Maybe I should have been a lawyer... Naw!! Anyway, at least I've won some battles. I don't owe a cent!

The same goes for m car lately. I haven't been as lucky, but lucky enough. Lucky enough for my 14 year old car not to actually get tested at the emissions place but to still pass, lucky enough for the warranty on my clutch to be valid for 5 more days before the jack-ass mechanics shitty work goes bad.
-----
And finally, I dreamed I was in Alaska. I saw you on Sitka Island. The roads were a light brown-yellow color. I was coming in off a path from the forest. The mist floated in the air which always makes me feel great. I always feel good, confident, strong, and in control when there is that much moisture in the air. You were in front of a cabin that was a store of some kind. You had just come from there. You saw me and tensed but didn't run. I mouthed something and walked toward you. You were still uneasy. I just said, "Alaska is a long way from the past. It's over now.." Still hesitant and shaky, you've seen me be calm before only to succumb to inner turmoil. I bet you always thought the calmness was an act. But it wasn't. You just pushed me past my limits, despite my best efforts. That's because I was open to you, that's wht let me give so much, that's what made me crumble so easily. But Alaska is a long way from the past, and I am stronger now, again. I don't remember what was siad next. But it eased your fear. you smiled that overly expressive smile and I used my words to wipe it off your face quickly. "Take your hat off when your talking to me" No offencse, I just don't need that. Neither do you. It's an insult to me. It's self-deprecating to yourself. I asked you to lunch. Then you took my arm as an equal and we went to talk over lunch, as honestly as was ever possible between us, as equals, while we were in Alaska -- far away from the past.

What a nice dream.

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