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igobymanynames

Reunion

Member Since 2004

Followers 1 Following 68

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Friday Dec 24, 2004

Dec 24, 2004
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In the end, nothing made me feel better yesterday, but I did wake up clear, open and strong-willed this morning. And to make up for last night, I saw my favorite niece who didn't recognize me with my beard (she's 2 1/2), but I made her fall in love with me all over again. And I was surprised that my 5 month old nephew not only constantly laughs , smiles, and weighs next to nothing (makes it easier to carry him for long periods of time), but he looks like an elf. He's the cutest thing and would make anyone melt, except maybe his two year old sister. smile

Life is nice right now. I'm having tea and going to bed in a minute. I've no money and am saddled with debt, so why do I feel so wealthy?

Some thigns going through my head lately:

Dusk you are not forgiven, you would have to face me for that. At the same time, the pain is gone, the anger is gone, the madness is back at appropriate levels (think Hedwig). Waht was your motto? "Cower rhymes with power." If you were honest with yourself (in action and deed), would being loved and amazing still be so difficult for you?

MP, it is your capacity for doing what you're doing that explains, in part, why things ended. We are very different. For all of your beauty and amazing qualities, there is so much you stay blind to. That's your choice, but you look like a child having a temper tantrum at this point.

KT -- Boundaries (social propriety) are more important to you than doing good. Have you become an old Vicotrian woman?!?! Do you even see this as a weakness? Have you tried to seize your dreams? Notice I didn't say "follow." Please remember what Casey has always said, "No one will make you happy but yourself."

note to self - there is someting worthwhile in tradition and stoicism -- a kind of beauty that is geneated form a general attitude. At the same time, there is still great need for rioting and being a loud overdose of Dionysian decadence. The stupidity of sacrificing one for the other. There are few true oppositions.

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