Clutch on my car is out again. just like on thanksgiving.
I have a dead kennedys song running through my head now.
Later...
On the bright side, I'll be seeing my Elise tomorrow night. While there is no drought of strong, challenging, interesting, brilliant, thoughtful and constantly curious women in the world, she consistently pushes herself through my force field with the sheer power of her disillusioned joy and self-assurance. She is one of the few people who can look for happiness and attain it, even in the midst of the most difficult traumas. Despite these far from little earthquakes, she still exudes health in every sound, breath, movement and touch.
The touch is also a very wise touch. The first few times are written in my head like monuments of what a fully conscious desire can be. By that I mean, she was the first person with whom I learned to completely focus and guide my desire toward my partner's desires. Also the first that made me shiver in ecstacy for hours.
Do I love her? Isn't that obvious? For too many reasons, we will not be together. Only the worst of incidents would bring us together. But how many people have a friend so important to them? Who they didn't need to hide anything from? Who brings out their best? Who they can find in and offer to a sincerity and intimacy that so many only find in relationsips? And even then, for how long? We are at six years so far.
And to some particular people reading this -- you don't know the first thing about me. If you are so curious, then ask a question. You are childish, mal-informed, stupidly presumptive, slight of experience, pansy bitches as far as I can acknowledge at this point. You would be beaten and crushed in the places I have been. I can only wish you the wonder and satisfaction I have found in even the most humbling and shameful of my experiences. In time, things of a grreater magnitude than oneself fall upon any decent human. You will be no exception. Have a great holiday!
I have a dead kennedys song running through my head now.
Later...
On the bright side, I'll be seeing my Elise tomorrow night. While there is no drought of strong, challenging, interesting, brilliant, thoughtful and constantly curious women in the world, she consistently pushes herself through my force field with the sheer power of her disillusioned joy and self-assurance. She is one of the few people who can look for happiness and attain it, even in the midst of the most difficult traumas. Despite these far from little earthquakes, she still exudes health in every sound, breath, movement and touch.
The touch is also a very wise touch. The first few times are written in my head like monuments of what a fully conscious desire can be. By that I mean, she was the first person with whom I learned to completely focus and guide my desire toward my partner's desires. Also the first that made me shiver in ecstacy for hours.
Do I love her? Isn't that obvious? For too many reasons, we will not be together. Only the worst of incidents would bring us together. But how many people have a friend so important to them? Who they didn't need to hide anything from? Who brings out their best? Who they can find in and offer to a sincerity and intimacy that so many only find in relationsips? And even then, for how long? We are at six years so far.
And to some particular people reading this -- you don't know the first thing about me. If you are so curious, then ask a question. You are childish, mal-informed, stupidly presumptive, slight of experience, pansy bitches as far as I can acknowledge at this point. You would be beaten and crushed in the places I have been. I can only wish you the wonder and satisfaction I have found in even the most humbling and shameful of my experiences. In time, things of a grreater magnitude than oneself fall upon any decent human. You will be no exception. Have a great holiday!