igobymanynames

As of about two hours ago I have been an official life form on this planet. for 30 years. Now, do I really feel old? Do I worry about feeling older and what's going to happen to me?

No. In fact, I'm loving it! Lovin' it! If anything, after the past year and a half nothing could make me happier than to remeber how to...
Read More

So this is where I am or at least the general area:

If I speak it will that make it true?
If I find the words can I hold them in place?
Can I see the beauty without killing it with thought?
Or conversely, maintain the beauty despite emotional tides?
Do I want this place?
because for me it isolates, it pushes, tears up and...
Read More

Fuckaliscious is my new favorite word.

"Forgive me for I did not know
'Coz I was just a boy
you were so much more
than any god could ever plan
more than any woman or a man
Now I understand
how much I took from you
And when everything starts breakin down
you take the pieces off the ground
and show this wicked town
somethin' beautiful and new
You think that...
Read More

For three days I have listened to nothing but Lard and Probot over and over. It overcomes the rambling voice in my head with rhythyms I can hum along and forward to all day. It's the only thing I have used to push me through these days of strange moon effects.

I have a love - hate relationship with her, the moon.

I'm not depressed. I'm not tense. I'm not tired. I'm not bored. I'm not frustrated. I'm not any of things without reason. I want the mental challenge of a worthy opponent. Someone who will not shy away from being wrong, and what is equally difficult, someone who will not shy away from being right. And in the end, what may be is just the rambling...
Read More

I would like to cry for no particular reason. Just for the release. But my eyes are dry.

I am dry. When I step on the gas, sparks fly and pistons begin to halt. My body aches from it all. I look up and I see the desert. It mine as well be a desolate funhouse of mirrors. How else could there be so much...
Read More

The problem of my brother, stress compounded, and impotence in the face of his dilemma put me to bed by 10:30 last night. I awoke at 3:15 unable o sleep. The slight depression still looming but still.

At 5:25 in Chicago and the city had dimmed enough for the stars to shine bright. Almost like they were like from my earliest memories of them. One...
Read More

So...

This is the beginning of the liquid-filled diamond.

There is change going on all around me. Change that should be called upheavals. At work, with my family, with some friends. It is all around me. But not to me for once. It is worrisome, disturbing, exciting and full of noise, voices in the shadows.. There is much on my mind... This is the first....
Read More

Did you know I have a friend who I just realized today is everything I had envisioned myself to be when I was young? How strange that is, to see someone who essentially has the gifts and situations you wished you had? Many of them at least. enough.

I guess the difference comes from the chances we take and don't take.

Most importantly though she...
Read More