When asked about my favorite movie I must admit I was a bit stumped. You see, part of my illness is an inability to sit still for long periods of time. It's not so much a short attention span mind you, but more of a certain sort of fidgety-ness. I get 'ants in the pants', if you will. This feeling can be nullified be reading something I thoroughly enjoy and driving long distances, but that's about it. When I watch a movie I have to be doing something with my hands like embroidery or drawing. I have to be able to get up several times to go to the bathroom or get a snack or just walk about the room. This reason alone is why I don't go to the movies often or even watch movies all that much. There are movies however that I come back to over and over again and as I sit here listening to Beethoven's second symphony I realize that my favorite movie of all time is...
I think it's just such a beautiful film, well shot and wonderfully acted. Sure, it's a bit melodramatic at times, but I enjoy that from time to time. I first saw this film when I was fifteen and was entranced by its beauty. I love classical music, especially Beethoven, so I was immediately drawn to it when I saw it at the local video store (I think I am dating myself by even mentioning the words 'video store'). I was also drawn to the offbeat sexiness of Gary Oldman, though I wasn't really aware of that at the time. Also, being bisexual I enjoyed the tasteful female nudity that was also in the film. Again, I didn't know I was bisexual at the time, I just know I had a rather different sensation going on in the pants area. (I'm a late bloomer. When so many were beginning to figure out sex and sexuality I had still never kissed anyone.)
An honorable mention goes to...
This is the film that helped shaped who I became and who I still am today. I know that sounds silly. It's not exactly an uplifting or motivating film, but it let me know that I wasn't alone in my thoughts of morbidity. I first saw it when I was 14. It was on television so it was the edited version, but I was still captivated by it. Again, there was something about the characters that was just so delicious, especially Louis, and the raw sexuality heralded the real beginning of my adolescent years, which were something I think I was subconsciously trying to avoid.
Essentially, this movie and immediately reading the book afterward are what summoned my goth years. And you know what, you can take the girl out of the goth scene, put her in 'normal' clothes, and expand her musical taste, but you'll never take the goth out of the girl. And being 'goth' was so important to me. I felt powerless back then. I was picked on a lot at school and dressing differently and embracing my morbid and offbeat thoughts made me feel special and gave me my own sort of beauty.
Anyway, there you have it. My favorite movie(s).
And now...for your superfluous selfies...
