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iggy

New Jersey

SG Since 2004

Followers 2081 Following 1889

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Tuesday Nov 27, 2007

Nov 27, 2007
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I've been pretty busy since my last journal entry here. The day after I wrote that entry I started going into labor and had my son Wolfgang the next afternoon. Yes, I was in labor for over 24 hours. I started on Saturday morning at 9.30 am on the 17th and had him on the 18th at 1.24 in the afternoon.

But its ok because I opted on taking advantage of the all the drugs Tricare will buy. Which happened to be two helpings of Demerol and two epidurals.

Needless to say I haven't really slept well since then and probably won't get a full nights sleep for a very long time to come. Its ok though, dkmfc and I take turns getting up in the middle of the night to feed and change the little spud. And because he is a preemie we actually have to set alarms every two hours and wake him up to eat, because if we don't he will just sleep right through feeding times.

I have him sleeping in the baby papasan in front of me and I have Morrisey playing. The kids got to grow up with good taste in music and there is no such thing as starting too early.

Though sometimes I look at him and still can not believe he came out of me. And I am still in shock that I am so wholly responsible for something so adorable and delicate. He has my ears, but otherwise looks like his daddy.

My body, for the most part, has come out of this unscathed. I have a bit of toning to do and perhaps lose a few pounds, but otherwise I can fit in all my pre-pregnant clothes. This is good because I was really getting sick of my maternity tops. They just don't make cute maternity clothes.

Emotionally I have been a roller coaster though. Not just because of the baby and the hormones but because I found out the day I came home from the hospital that my someone who had been my best friend in college had passed away just a few days before my son was born. Needless to say I was heartbroken. Her and I had lost contact for a while because we were both so busy, but had gotten back in touch over the summer and basically vowed not to lose touch ever again. She was one of the most amazing people on earth. She was incredibly sensitive, sweet, talented, smart, well balanced, and in tune with the world around her. I don't profess to belong to any real religion, I have a set of beliefs I follow and really do believe that there is a god like higher power. But at the moment I found out she had died I really questioned the existence of any sort of God and am still in that process of questioning. But I guess everyone goes through that when they find that someone they were close to has suddenly died. She wasn't sick, she wasn't a drug addict or a drunk, she just...died.

Life is weird like that.

Now if you don't mind I am going to go eat my burrito.
VIEW 25 of 40 COMMENTS
colinism:
I keep thinking that however I end up in the same situations constantly. I am almost 33 and this gets old and I do in fact find myself thinking more and more of the suicide option.
Dec 6, 2007
rabidus:
"I am pretty shameless about it actually"

As well you should be, i heard that childbirth thing is a little painfull wink
Dec 6, 2007

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