idwraith

Today is a very bad day. I've been trying to post positive memories of my wife, trying to celebrate her life... but it's not working. I'm just growing more and more depressed every minute I'm awake. It's been 6 months, 6 months exactly in 6 hours and 29 minutes. I don't know how to stay positive. There's a big part of me that just wants to carve a six into my forearm or thigh.... or six tally lines. Just hurt as physically much as I do emotionally right now. It's made worse that half my friends aren't talking to me right now. This is a day when I could really use my friends around.

I've been lucky that I haven't been totally alone, my friend Doug was with me for most of the morning. But now he's left for work and it's just me and the boys.