idwraith

So I spent the last 24 hours in the Cortland Regional Memorial Hospital's Psychiatric Ward because I sat down to fill out some paperwork for the Office of Disability Services about my condition and had the worst panic attack of my life. I mean I was convinced that I was going to die. I didn't know if it was suicide impending or just the oncoming Sword of Damocles but I became convinced that death was imminent and I was terrified. So I went to the ER with a friend and got taken in as a patient. Once I got home I started having another panic attack but was able to ride through it. I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow and we shall see how things go. I'm hoping that I'll be going through a medication change, at the very least adding something to deal with the anxiety because when I looked things over I realized I've been having low grade panic attacks every day for the last 3 weeks. So things have been rough. I spent a lot of time sobbing about my wife having passed away. This was the weekend when we were supposed to go up to Canada for our trip to the anime convention, instead I'm staying home. Things are hard, no question about that. I hit a rough patch and everything went off kelter for a little while. Hopefully I'll be feeling better soon. Or at least be getting the proper treatment to work things through.