Well, the kids are with my in-laws for the day. I always feel so conflicted when they come up. It's nice that they spend time with the boys, but I always feel like they're also checking up on me, watching and waiting for me to screw up. Like this second home they've purchased. I feel like their whole reason for having a second house here is because they're waiting for me to lose my house. Thus they can "rescue" their grandkids from my incompetence by giving me a fall back place to live. Not to mention they're fixing up the place, which means that the entire time they're watching the boys they're also working on the house, or paying contractors to work on it. I can't imagine they can really afford to do this. I think they took out a 2nd refinance loan just to do this, and it's crazy.
I dunno, maybe I'm not fair to them. I mean, they lost their daughter and they're trying to find a way to cope with it. A lot of the shit they're doing now is an expression of grief and an attempt to get some kind of handle on that situation. They're getting older and they lost their youngest child and that's a horrible thing to have happen. This buying a house, trying to fix it up, seeing her kids every 2 weeks. All of it is their attempt to deal with grief, something they're not equipped to do, they're hidebound people.
I dunno, it's hard. I sympathize with them and they're trying to be nice to me, it's just hard considering my wife never trusted them with the details of her life and now I'm stuck trying to rebuild my life under their scrutiny. It's hard to figure out how you're going to get your life back together when you feel like you're being watched and judged.
I dunno, maybe I'm not fair to them. I mean, they lost their daughter and they're trying to find a way to cope with it. A lot of the shit they're doing now is an expression of grief and an attempt to get some kind of handle on that situation. They're getting older and they lost their youngest child and that's a horrible thing to have happen. This buying a house, trying to fix it up, seeing her kids every 2 weeks. All of it is their attempt to deal with grief, something they're not equipped to do, they're hidebound people.
I dunno, it's hard. I sympathize with them and they're trying to be nice to me, it's just hard considering my wife never trusted them with the details of her life and now I'm stuck trying to rebuild my life under their scrutiny. It's hard to figure out how you're going to get your life back together when you feel like you're being watched and judged.
vjvhyjf:
although i don't know exactly what you are going through, my only 'advice' i could give is although you are prob correct that they are just grieving and don't know how to handle their loss, you are as well. and you are dealing with this loss while taking care of children and yourself at the same time. which im sure is immensely difficult to deal with without her parents trying to intervene non stop. you are their father, her husband. you deserve respect. dont let them deter you from your life. they are more than allowed to grieve their daughters loss but you are as well. just keep being an awesome dad. shrug off their words and insecurities toward you. you dont deserve it. my ex husbands parents do the same to me. like every time they call they expect to see me fail. like they want it. its annoying, i know. i wish you luck. 