Mother's day was rough but the boys enjoyed spending time with Grandma, Great Grandma, Aunt T and their cousins, so it was a good day overall. Got sucked into some political arguing with my Dad, as usual. He's so asininely conservative I can't help but comment when he's spewing the most narrow minded things. *sighs* To make things more complicated my car broke down on the way home, so I had to leave it at my parents garage. I didn't drive it more than 8 miles with the check engine light on so hopefully it won't be one of those "Well, you destroyed your engine" problems, despite the stuttering and the knock. Of course, this means I don't have my vehicle, which complicated life somewhat. I'm not sure how I'm going to pay for yet another breakdown when I've already put 1300 into cars this year.
Mood wise I'm doing pretty good this weekend. The meds are still making it hard for me to be wakeful and do things with my day, but the self-harm thoughts have decreased, as have the suicidal tendencies. These are good things when raising children. The sleeping 11 hours a day is still very problematic when it comes to making it to meetings at the DSS and such. They're currently investigating me because I didn't report my wife's life insurance immediately. I had more important things on my mind, like the many many back bills that needed to get paid. Her life insurance money lifted this family out of debt. It's horrible to think that way, but it's the truth. We hadn't paid a lot of our bills in months, we had thousands in back debt. Thanks to her I only have one credit card that still has money owed to it, all the others have been paid off and closed.
We'll see how the SSI meeting goes on Wednesday. Depending on how much I make in disability I might be able to keep Gaelyn in daycare. That'd be nice. I'm not expecting much in the way of money, but every little bit helps. It'd be nice if it at least took the place of the TAP I'm getting now because TAP needs to be repaid at some point but SSI, being a form of disability, does not. I'm somewhat ambivalent about the fact that my bipolar disorder has grown so severe that I qualify for disability. On the one hand having a steady income again will make life for me and the boys much easier. On the other hand it's caused by my mood disorder having grown so severe that I can't handle a regular job without coming to the point of suicidal ideation or self-harming thoughts. Neither of those conditions are good things.
Mood wise I'm doing pretty good this weekend. The meds are still making it hard for me to be wakeful and do things with my day, but the self-harm thoughts have decreased, as have the suicidal tendencies. These are good things when raising children. The sleeping 11 hours a day is still very problematic when it comes to making it to meetings at the DSS and such. They're currently investigating me because I didn't report my wife's life insurance immediately. I had more important things on my mind, like the many many back bills that needed to get paid. Her life insurance money lifted this family out of debt. It's horrible to think that way, but it's the truth. We hadn't paid a lot of our bills in months, we had thousands in back debt. Thanks to her I only have one credit card that still has money owed to it, all the others have been paid off and closed.
We'll see how the SSI meeting goes on Wednesday. Depending on how much I make in disability I might be able to keep Gaelyn in daycare. That'd be nice. I'm not expecting much in the way of money, but every little bit helps. It'd be nice if it at least took the place of the TAP I'm getting now because TAP needs to be repaid at some point but SSI, being a form of disability, does not. I'm somewhat ambivalent about the fact that my bipolar disorder has grown so severe that I qualify for disability. On the one hand having a steady income again will make life for me and the boys much easier. On the other hand it's caused by my mood disorder having grown so severe that I can't handle a regular job without coming to the point of suicidal ideation or self-harming thoughts. Neither of those conditions are good things.
taegan:
Hey there! Thanks for wishing me well after my accident and for graduation. I'm glad to see you're doing better. It's all progress, which I know you probably know. Just stay strong!