Today is a very bad day. I've been trying to post positive memories of my wife, trying to celebrate her life... but it's not working. I'm just growing more and more depressed every minute I'm awake. It's been 6 months, 6 months exactly in 6 hours and 29 minutes. I don't know how to stay positive. There's a big part of me that just wants... Read More
thanks. you're right of course. i didn't mean it like that. just that my "pain" is self-induced, and seems lame to me in the big scheme of things. be well.
So I've come to realize I can't trust my feelings on things right now. I went into shock when Blythe died and it's just now starting to wear off and some major grieving is going on. I've come to realize that I may well have been mistaking my feelings of friendship towards some people as more romantic feelings, a subconscious attempt to fill the void... Read More
So there's a person I like who has no interest in me. This is kind of a pattern in my life, my late wife being the exception to the rule. I've got another friend who'd like me if I weren't a man. Having the platonic love of a lesbian isn't much I suppose, but it's the closest I have to companionship this day in age.... Read More
tanks baby... im feel strange because all the time im a good person in 2 weeks me happend a lot things very ba... gggrr... i hope after all will perfect...
i hope too because in the last time all is bad..so maybe i 'll buy lotery jajaja,,, firts bad things after good things not?.. jjajajaj.. im a positive girl
So the new medication is under way, yet to see if it's going to do me a lot of good. So far I'm not suffering any real side effects but I'm still on the low starter dose and haven't gotten up to the therapeutic levels yet. My In-Laws came up again this weekend and took the boys for quite a while so I got a... Read More
So I spent the last 24 hours in the Cortland Regional Memorial Hospital's Psychiatric Ward because I sat down to fill out some paperwork for the Office of Disability Services about my condition and had the worst panic attack of my life. I mean I was convinced that I was going to die. I didn't know if it was suicide impending or just the oncoming... Read More
Grandpa's back in the hospital again. Pneumonia again from his chemo treatments. The brain tumors haven't shrunk any that I've heard and the leukemia is still pounding him. Things are hard to take. He's a tough old guy but this has been drawn out for 4 years now.
Well, the kids are with my in-laws for the day. I always feel so conflicted when they come up. It's nice that they spend time with the boys, but I always feel like they're also checking up on me, watching and waiting for me to screw up. Like this second home they've purchased. I feel like their whole reason for having a second house here... Read More
although i don't know exactly what you are going through, my only 'advice' i could give is although you are prob correct that they are just grieving and don't know how to handle their loss, you are as well. and you are dealing with this loss while taking care of children and yourself at the same time. which im sure is immensely difficult to deal with without her parents trying to intervene non stop. you are their father, her husband. you deserve respect. dont let them deter you from your life. they are more than allowed to grieve their daughters loss but you are as well. just keep being an awesome dad. shrug off their words and insecurities toward you. you dont deserve it. my ex husbands parents do the same to me. like every time they call they expect to see me fail. like they want it. its annoying, i know. i wish you luck.
Mother's day was rough but the boys enjoyed spending time with Grandma, Great Grandma, Aunt T and their cousins, so it was a good day overall. Got sucked into some political arguing with my Dad, as usual. He's so asininely conservative I can't help but comment when he's spewing the most narrow minded things. *sighs* To make things more complicated my car broke down on... Read More
Hey there! Thanks for wishing me well after my accident and for graduation. I'm glad to see you're doing better. It's all progress, which I know you probably know. Just stay strong!
So my psychiatrist has ruled me unable to work for the foreseeable future. I'm not shocked, though I'm a little disappointed with myself. I've been handling my bipolar disorder for 17 years now and this last year has been the hardest in my life. I know I shouldn't be too hard on myself, with all the stressful things I've been... Read More
Hug! That's alot for anyone to take in. You are doing the best you can with the hand you've been dealt. Hell you are handling this way better then I ever could and I'm supposedly sane. Good luck my friend!
Well, I think I shall shave my head. So far the advice I've gotten from my friends has been 2 to 1 in favor of shaving, so since the summer is coming it's a good season for it.
