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idiotsguide

Edgewater "River Rat", New Jersey

Member Since 2005

Followers 3 Following 14

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Saturday Aug 06, 2005

Aug 6, 2005
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AOL is terrible. So many people keep it out of habit or sheer laziness to cancel, I am one of those cunts. I say I am going to cancel every month - never do.

I spent the day in the West Village just walked the whole of Bleecker and back and headed to HB Studio
hbstudio.org
to watch an acting class. A very pleasnt day, very nice, and by myself. I will become a regular member of the class into the fall. I have a scene from "The Pillowman" coming up. I am reading the play tonight. My scene partner's name is Jorge. He speaks broken English and has cognitive trouble with what he is saying, thinking, and hearing. It should be interesting. I could tell nobody wants to work with him, but I felt bad for the sonufabitch. The play is pretty good and I think I missed its Broadway run with Billy Crudup and Jeff Goldblum. I saw GlenGarry GlenRoss - kicked ass. I am now a big fan of Liev Schrieber, a great actor.

We'll see this time around, I have lost much of that "oh no, what if I suck" bullshit. I know I'm good. But NYC is full of good actors. The truth is, luck. Or sucking someone's cock, I rather not do that. But I might do it over gaining recognition from a reality show. I thought about that "Biz" application I sent out. No way. Not my bag.

After two weeks without "her" I am getting that observational depression when I look at couples kissing, hugging, holding hands, or just having an all around good time. Who can say whether they're in love? I know I wasn't, but that security of having someone was there, even if it was the equivalent of talking to a potted hanging jew.

No real worries or nags of the mind today. I am a little fed up with all the security stickers on new DVDs; not only is it a bitch to get the plastic wrapper off, but we must now remove three "Security Device Enclosed" stickers before the disc finally emerges from its case, which naturally is now damaged. All around the top and sides of the DVD case are plastic pock marks and tears...motherfuckers. You know who the motherfuckers are...big record companies...to the Security Companies...to the big chain stores. And yet, we buy, That is the most negative thought I had today. Not bad. Getting good at flushing negative energy and trying not to be overly judgemental. I will trip up within four sentences, just you watch.

Attaining a new job lumes, like a death sentence. It will be weird not walking into a classroom in a few weeks; going through all those trials and tribulations of the first weeks of school,,,fucking crazier at the city schools as you know.. My mental health will be saved. And who knows what will happen next... "for nobody, nobody knows what's gonna happen to anybody, except the forlong rags of getting old..." as Jack Kerouac wrote in On The Road. Way I see it, I am officially unemployed as of Sept 7th - Back To School day at my old steaming pile of shit high school. Any Dwight Morrow kids in da house? Classic Lean On Me shit, my Dad went to this school, used to be one of the best in the state, now the school's VD scores 920 on her SATs and graduates with a B+ average, and for graduation day has her speech written for her by a member of the English Department. Fucking Sad.

That's good. Need to begin writing more creatively. And I need a pot source for once in a while mind altering experiences, no heavy shit anymore. If you gave me LSD these days, I could say with all the positive affirmation in the world: "Get Out The Jacket...Call The Bug Mobile!" You go places and you can't go back.

Listening to the new Daniel Lanois album, all instrumental - mellow. Not bad. Ahhh, good night. I will be prowling around the site all next week and tomorrow building up my friends list. It's good to have friends. Even if you never actually meet face to face...it's nice. Keepin' Out the feelers bitches!
Good Night
Godbless
Now Fuck Off Ta Bed
B
krrn:
aol is ass. I used to have it, until it fucked up my computer royally. ARRR!!!
Aug 6, 2005
brooklynbabe:
I hate taking off those stickers too because I always try not to fuck up the dvd case- but it never works. I wish I had one of those dvd opener gizmos that makes it much easier and neater to open the case, but I never remember to buy one. Oh well.

Can't wait to meet up in the future so I can see some part of manhattan other than the village.
Aug 6, 2005

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