ickleali

You know when you have to say goodbye to someone and all you want to do is scream don't go, stay i will miss you too much.

one of my closest friends is leaving for a year in australia, well he is more than a friend which is why it is so hard. the thing i fear is that we will both be different when he gets back, or one of us willl and the other won't. i do know that neither of us want to say goodbye.

he is the most laid back person you can meet, the last person to admit to any feelings, unfortunately for him last week his eyes deceived him, not me i could see what he was thinking-how he feels, we both knew he was leaving the whole time and the closer it gets the more i think of him, the more i need him.

i want him to go, it is his thing that he has to do, friends keep telling me i should go but i will not, it is not my dream or plan and i would never take it away from him, part of me thinks that my feelings are more intense purely because he is going, i hope not.

anyway i am just going to feel sorry for myself and just hope that when he gets back that at least our friendship can survive.
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