i am going back home(chicago) to the people i love this weekend. mom and dad(married for 4 billion years) only sister w/ her hubby and 5 kids all under the age of ten. thats right, im an uncle....they call me uncle stoney instead of tony and the kids are still on the debate team on weather or not im an adult or a kid? im not even sure of that one.

gonna get my back tattoo finised on saturday(yea, im single and thats my only plans ). and ill try and start my harley after a long winters rest.

so my question to all of you is, do i make plans to hang w/ the best friend. the one person who has repeatedly let me down the last 9 out of 10 times ive been back in chicago. he's a coke attic and i cant be around him or anyone else that does it. i have no tolerance for blatint self abuse. after the woman who i loved more than life itself and that i was gonna marry and have a family w/ ultimaley picked alchol over me i realized that the pain is not worth dealing w/. the waiting around for some one to "get better" probaly isnt going to happen. no matter what they tell you to in order to keep you around. ive been crushed by his and others in my life becase of what i feel is totally selfish behaviour. his excuse after 13 years of abuse is "dude im a junke, i cant stop". BULL FUCKING SHIT. he thinks if he says that it makes it right. thats just an excuse for not wanting to quit. im sick of his sneaking around and his lies and all of the bull shit. i am the one and only person who is his friend out of all the people that we grew up w/. why i ask my self? part of me feels like i owe him for getting into my current career. i dont know. i think i want to hang w/ my folks, the only two people that have NEVER let down. i love them more then anything.


p.s. mom is gonna be PISSED OFF at the new back tat she doesnt have any idea. can i say that all of you in sg land made me do it? me=wussy