iamthelaw

Dear Facebook:

You motherfucker.

Within the constellation of complaints I have about this black hole of social media, fucking Farmville updates have become a blaring supernova.

The worst part about Farmville updates, besides their frequency and monopoly on the e-real estate of "walls," is the frequent use of the plural pronoun "their" as a substitute for a non-gender specific second-person possessive pronoun, which the English language lacks.

Example: "Ian just earned a reward for finding a Golden Egg or some shit and wants you to share THEIR success."

For the record, Ian is just ONE fucking person.Their refers to MANY people. He or she would do the trick. So would a new non-gender specific pronoun. (If we can't be progressive enough as a populous to invent one for the sake of a world that blurs gender lines, for GOD'S SAKE do it to fix fucking Farmville).

I get it; the updates are generated by a robot. But, rather than make the same grammatical error over, and fucking over, couldn't they just eliminate the fucking pronoun?

Example: "Ian just earned a fucking reward for rescuing a Pound Fucking Puppy. Congratulations."

By the bye, what the FUCK is Mafia Wars?

Thank you very much.

I love you.

Heart,
Me