iamheartbreak

Being alone can really get to a person sometimes. Espescially, when that loneliness is mostly self-induced.
I've been single now for about 6 months, and though thats not the longest I've gone without someone, lately it seems to really be taking its toll on me. The worst part about all of this is that I'm not even sure if I wanna find someone. It feels kinda pointless at the moment. But yet, still I lay awake at night in my bed wishing there was someone laying next to me.
Even my friends are starting to pick up on the fact that I'm feeling this way. They keep telling me that they're going to find me a girlfriend but, thats not how I would want to go about it. Plus, I'm not exactally the easiest person to find a match for. I find about 70% of most social situations futile and dislike or don't trust about 50% of the people I meet so, that kinda dwindles my options down. Also, I'm not really the most desirable person to most females around my age, to them I guess I seem: Imature, Unseccessful, and rough around the edges (very rough.)
I don't know, its very frustrating right now and today was kinda the "pot boiling over" for all this. As much as I wanna think that I'm just being ridiculous, It just feels like maybe I'm suposed to remain alone. Thats how I was brought into this world and maybe thats how it should stay.