ia9os_demi5e

I'm lonely.

Amusing and somewhat sad

www.sorryeverybody.com

Notes to self:

cut your hair
buy some new clothes for work
don't forget these expenses aren't frivilous, they need to occur because you don't do it all the damn time.

I got so pissed at work today that I jittered.

I want comfort and reminding why I do anything I do.

I will have tea and read until I fall asleep. Hopefully it will all slip away from me this evening.

Next week will either be lovely and short, or just as much stress packed into a smaller time frame.

My goal this weekend is...
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I skate on the surface of sleep without him. It's okay, I glide into the next day without obstacle, but it's just not the deep, warm, lovely subconscious nirvana I experience after a night of being pressed against his skin. The cat tries desperately to be comforting.

In other news, the second picture I sent to Rodderboy immediately made the cut, so go vote for...
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Turns out I am *not* pin up material. The photo on this profile didn't qualify...I sent one more shot to Rodderboy just in case, but apparently I can't hang. I'm a little irked, but not suprised. I didn't fit in when I went to Viva Las Vegas either, so I guess I just have to deal with "individual" status.

Pity, that.

Dave loves me. He...
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When Todd and I are talking...

And when I lay awake at night playing scenes over and over in my head...

Why I didn't just claw the fuck out of her when I had the chance.

Why I didn't just once assert myself physically and at least purge all the rage from my system.

It doesn't matter anymore and I'm happier than I've been in...
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I'm not sure what's worse...the threat of cancer, or the memories.

I hate November.



"I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me nave or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman."
Anais Nin
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Hotmail blows. I can't get to it for the second day now and I'm just fed-up. My new address is jentheruiner@yahoo.com and my friends list got trashed along with the old account (cause I couldn't get into it anyway), so you have to e-mail me. Feyd, can you please pass this along to Mr. Fett? I was going to do it via MySpace, but I'm...
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"I am going to show you something hideous. It will save your life." -Ingeborg Bachmann