Friday Nov 19, 2004

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Notes to self:

cut your hair
buy some new clothes for work
don't forget these expenses aren't frivilous, they need to occur because you don't do it all the damn time.

Friday Nov 19, 2004

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I got so pissed at work today that I jittered.

I want comfort and reminding why I do anything I do.

I will have tea and read until I fall asleep. Hopefully it will all slip away from me this evening.

Next week will either be lovely and short, or just as much stress packed into a smaller time frame.

My goal this weekend is...
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Monday Nov 15, 2004

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I skate on the surface of sleep without him. It's okay, I glide into the next day without obstacle, but it's just not the deep, warm, lovely subconscious nirvana I experience after a night of being pressed against his skin. The cat tries desperately to be comforting.

In other news, the second picture I sent to Rodderboy immediately made the cut, so go vote for...
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Wednesday Nov 10, 2004

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Turns out I am *not* pin up material. The photo on this profile didn't qualify...I sent one more shot to Rodderboy just in case, but apparently I can't hang. I'm a little irked, but not suprised. I didn't fit in when I went to Viva Las Vegas either, so I guess I just have to deal with "individual" status.

Pity, that.

Dave loves me. He...
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Monday Nov 08, 2004

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When Todd and I are talking...

And when I lay awake at night playing scenes over and over in my head...

Why I didn't just claw the fuck out of her when I had the chance.

Why I didn't just once assert myself physically and at least purge all the rage from my system.

It doesn't matter anymore and I'm happier than I've been in...
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feyd:
I know this is not your intention, and boo-hoo if both of my feelings are hurt, whoopee . . . but your journal entries make me sad.

Sunday Nov 07, 2004

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I'm not sure what's worse...the threat of cancer, or the memories.

I hate November.

mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad

"I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me nave or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman."
Anais Nin
nullnull

Thursday Nov 04, 2004

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Hotmail blows. I can't get to it for the second day now and I'm just fed-up. My new address is jentheruiner@yahoo.com and my friends list got trashed along with the old account (cause I couldn't get into it anyway), so you have to e-mail me. Feyd, can you please pass this along to Mr. Fett? I was going to do it via MySpace, but I'm...
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feyd:
'Kay!

Oh hey, I donwloaded a bunch of horrorpops. They totally rock. Thanks.
ia9os_demi5e:
What took you so long? You know it's Kim Necroman's side project with his wife, right. And if I remember correctly, you like the Necromantix., so there you go. Also, Kamilla Kresege is Geoff from Tiger Army's wife and she's in Horropops as well. Its a very small scary circle, that psychobilly thing.... skull

Sunday Oct 31, 2004

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"I am going to show you something hideous. It will save your life." -Ingeborg Bachmann

Sunday Oct 31, 2004

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Can't help but be melancholy tonight. Spent $12 on candy and only had 4 trick or treaters. Dressed up as Yzma from the Emperors New Groove and no one recognized the character...I'd like to watch Magnolia and curl up with a warm cup of apple cider, but there's none to be found here in New Mexico...not the real stuff anyway. Just overglorified apple juice with...
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Monday Oct 25, 2004

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I have lots of things to say...
Most of them are interesting, but too specific, so I'll refrain. I'll summarize by saying that dark secrets are really okay to share with someone who truly loves you. The admissions won't be judged, but considered the substance that comprises you as a loveable entity.

Or something...

Halloween is almost here, so that marks the part of fall...
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feyd:
So when can I come over for some warm apple cider? skull
ia9os_demi5e:
You don't adore me, doof. You just can't think of anything good to do.

Friday Oct 22, 2004

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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Good. The last two lines made me think of what I could say to summarize the unfortunate reality that destroyed my last relationship.

"I'm not a concept. I'm just a fucked up girl trying to find my own peace of mind. I'll give you everything you want except the thing you need most...and eventually you'll feel confined by my...
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feyd:
Have you been throwing rocks on my balcony? call me.

[Edited on Oct 25, 2004 12:36AM]
ia9os_demi5e:
No. Must be one of your other crazy exes. tongue

Monday Oct 18, 2004

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Ah fuck. Moving is a pain, but I love the new place. A bit disappointed in the way the furniture had to be arranged for the space available, but I'll live for now. It's functional, but not pretty. At least tonight I am going to get Mr. Davidmeow and I will really feel like its home once he's there. I love my kitty. miao!!
feyd:
You know, I could come over and look at arranging your furniture for you. For a straight male I seem to have a knack for that shit.

Edgefest Story #1: One band at Edgefest, called Anesthesia, (or something) got through one song before the State Cops cut them off and arrested one of their members. We can't figure out why, ut we'll find out. It's just too funny not to.
ia9os_demi5e:
I'm gonna play with it tonight. I don't have cable and am not in the mood to sew, so I'll play musical furniture. If you have criticism at some point, you know I'm open. I'd bitch a little about the obstacle with it, but you'll see soon enough (and will prolly notice before I even say it). Mostly, it just looks awful because I need to reupholster all of it. The arrangement is the easy part...

And yes, do find out. Do. That's *AWESOME*!!! I've been to shows where the lead singers were reputed for some sordid shit, but I've *NEVER* seen a show stopped for a bandmember to be arrested. I must know what infraction deserved that level of enforcement.

Sadly, it will prolly be a bench warrant on a parking ticket or something. But find out anyway....
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