So the other night was....I can't think of the word for it.
If there's a drug that puts me in a similar place, I almost think I'd want it.
It was like a mix of nostalgia, time slowing down, drifting off to sleep with eyes wide open, just....
I'm not sure what put me in the mood I was in before said adventure:I was feeling unusually distant. We pile into the truck to head to work, Calvin and I....and he slides in The Smashing Pumpkins, disc 1 of Mellon Collie (my favorite of the two, incidentally)....and I think to myself, again, has it really been a DECADE since this album was released? I'm now able to start telling stories of my life with "a decade ago", as that's when it was really beginning?
My then close friend Noah had the album, and as most youth-most people-do, he only wanted to hear the radio tracks. Wouldn't give much of a chance to anything else (until it became a radio hit anyway, then he would act as though it's a brilliant new discovery on the disc). I adored that first disc, however, from the brilliantly simple piano opener....I loved a continuation of theme (such as the piano opener becoming part of an ending tune on the last disc). The raw fuzzbox of guitar...an almost industrial tinge to some songs such as my favorite "Here Is No Why".
The useless drag of another day
The endless drags of a death rock boy
Mascara sure and lipstick lost
Glitter burned by restless thoughts
Of being forgotten
And in your sad machines
Youll forever stay
Desperate and displeased - with whoever you are
And youre a star
Somewhere - he pulls his hair down - over a frowning smile
A hidden diamond you cannot find
A secret star that cannot shine over to you
May the king of gloom be forever doomed
And in your sad machines
Youll forever stay
Burning up in speed
Lost inside your dreams, of teen machines
So as the album began, we started driving off down the long lightless highway.....the moon hung low and was obscured behind clouds thin enough to reduce it to a hazy blur, spreading it's light far wider across the wisps than it's own shape. My body was limp, weak, felt like a rag doll puppet with the strings detached....and so I stared into the blackness and it consumed. It was almost like being blind, as all I could see was in my mind-what memories I could associate with the songs, the memories of what the songs used to cause me to feel, an I felt......lost and alone. Things were shit and hopeless then, too, but I had some sweet distractions, though I could never make full advantage. I could have had more fun making a wreck of my life, it'd have had the same turnout (at worst).
A car on the side of the road, cops and blue lights parked behind them, an 18wheeler comining around the curve towards us.....and I couldn't comprehend depth. All the lights appeared to be on the same plane, as flat as a piece of paper, and it was confusing to me.
I love the play on words...."Mellon Collie", melancholy....."Porcelina", poor Selina....
The lights of civilization become a technicolor blur that stretch as far as I can see.
"Let's not go to work. Let's just drive around for a bit."
The rest is a memory that doesn't exist....not that much of this actually exists in memory....felt like just 5 minutes of floating....
The album finished eventually, and to work late we went....
May the king of gloom be forever doomed
If there's a drug that puts me in a similar place, I almost think I'd want it.
It was like a mix of nostalgia, time slowing down, drifting off to sleep with eyes wide open, just....
I'm not sure what put me in the mood I was in before said adventure:I was feeling unusually distant. We pile into the truck to head to work, Calvin and I....and he slides in The Smashing Pumpkins, disc 1 of Mellon Collie (my favorite of the two, incidentally)....and I think to myself, again, has it really been a DECADE since this album was released? I'm now able to start telling stories of my life with "a decade ago", as that's when it was really beginning?
My then close friend Noah had the album, and as most youth-most people-do, he only wanted to hear the radio tracks. Wouldn't give much of a chance to anything else (until it became a radio hit anyway, then he would act as though it's a brilliant new discovery on the disc). I adored that first disc, however, from the brilliantly simple piano opener....I loved a continuation of theme (such as the piano opener becoming part of an ending tune on the last disc). The raw fuzzbox of guitar...an almost industrial tinge to some songs such as my favorite "Here Is No Why".
The useless drag of another day
The endless drags of a death rock boy
Mascara sure and lipstick lost
Glitter burned by restless thoughts
Of being forgotten
And in your sad machines
Youll forever stay
Desperate and displeased - with whoever you are
And youre a star
Somewhere - he pulls his hair down - over a frowning smile
A hidden diamond you cannot find
A secret star that cannot shine over to you
May the king of gloom be forever doomed
And in your sad machines
Youll forever stay
Burning up in speed
Lost inside your dreams, of teen machines
So as the album began, we started driving off down the long lightless highway.....the moon hung low and was obscured behind clouds thin enough to reduce it to a hazy blur, spreading it's light far wider across the wisps than it's own shape. My body was limp, weak, felt like a rag doll puppet with the strings detached....and so I stared into the blackness and it consumed. It was almost like being blind, as all I could see was in my mind-what memories I could associate with the songs, the memories of what the songs used to cause me to feel, an I felt......lost and alone. Things were shit and hopeless then, too, but I had some sweet distractions, though I could never make full advantage. I could have had more fun making a wreck of my life, it'd have had the same turnout (at worst).
A car on the side of the road, cops and blue lights parked behind them, an 18wheeler comining around the curve towards us.....and I couldn't comprehend depth. All the lights appeared to be on the same plane, as flat as a piece of paper, and it was confusing to me.
I love the play on words...."Mellon Collie", melancholy....."Porcelina", poor Selina....
The lights of civilization become a technicolor blur that stretch as far as I can see.
"Let's not go to work. Let's just drive around for a bit."
The rest is a memory that doesn't exist....not that much of this actually exists in memory....felt like just 5 minutes of floating....
The album finished eventually, and to work late we went....
May the king of gloom be forever doomed