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i_poop_too_much

Austin, TX

Member Since 2004

Followers 1 Following 2

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Thursday May 05, 2005

May 5, 2005
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The weather is perfect this morning.

I stepped outside and the temperature was neutral-but once I stepped into the sunlight, it was so warm that I almost got the chills. There was no breeze, but you could feel the air whispering about with life. Crossing into shadowed patches as I walked, I could feel the lack of warming sunlight-I became again oblivious to temperature, but then....back to the toasty warmth, like being crawling into a blanket that your other has kept wrapped in for hours. I walked past the strong scent of a honeysuckle tree (bush?) and was hit with the sweet aroma that, in conjunction with the warmth, brought me back to a wonderous feeling of early childhood when things weren't entirely terrible-despite living in one of the worse neighborhoods.

It would seem that not just one roommate (as expected) is vacating next month, but all-which means me, as well. I simply can't afford to keep this place on my own, between deposits and utility setups, I'd have to pull well over a grand out of my ass by June. Not only difficult at this point, but totally throwing my plot for money hoarding and vehicle aquiring (something I SHOULD have done last year). I'm none too fond of this house, but it's effective for the moment, I suppose I'll be crashing with Jason again unless I can find something in town. The plus side of crashing at Jason's is that it's almost cost free, and I know he'll keep me as long as I need.

Stable housing. I'd like to find it someday. It's a serious pain to have to constantly endure the costs of such changes. I can't blame Bo for leaving, though, he needs to take care of his health first, and if a better option had come up, I certainly would have left sooner. I didn't want to stay in this town-I should be back in Florida....goddamn you, hurricane!

Star Wars in two weeks. Not going to be able to make it to Florida to see everyone as I'd hoped. My "future" is now, and it's happening without me contributing in any way except opening my wallet:Star Wars is ending; Doctor Who has returned and so have the Daleks; The Guide has spilled the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything to audiences worldwide; online console gaming is standard; I've blown working with Doug/King's X....

I wonder what I would be like if, as a child, I hadn't dreamt of doing what I love for a living-what if I'd kept my head in the schoolbooks and accepted all I was told, as was expected of me? I look back at what little I can remember of my youth and wonder....how did I become who I am? Noone is the same as when they were a child, but I surely can see no connection.

Perhaps this is how pitdogs are trained-kept in a cage and beaten, while being told he's a good boy. Perhaps they just grow to fit the cage.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
inlikeflynn:
nah, I get on really well with my mother. I just have a very strange and wayward dreamstate. when my mind wanders, sometimes even when I'm awake, I get weird shit like that.
May 10, 2005
vixen:
I can't wait for warmer weather in NYC! It's so chilly!!!
May 11, 2005

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