Time again for musical memory theatre....
Today's topic will be Pink Floyd. Dark Side Of The Moon. Specifically, the song that triggered this trip down repressed and forgotten memory lane would be "Us and Them".
I've had to rewrite the name several times before I could remember correctly:Rebecca. A bit of background on Becca...
Junior year of high school....for a few days, outside in our courtyard circle I'd spied a lovely new face standing by the ramp up to the third floor. Short, visibly very uncomfortable with her form and it's unflattering presentation, blonde hair, brilliantly blue eyes, and one could tell that above all she was ashamed of the braces that I couldnt see but knew were there by the way she held her cheeck muscles (especially when spoken to by the passing stranger). I don't remember how I/we started speaking to her. It didn't take long for us to take a shine to her and drag her to the group. I vaguely remember something about us exchanging phone numbers while trading off musical education materials-for her, a King's X album and a Ruby album, for Kevin, she would try to change my feelings on NIN with an import single and....some other album by someone else. Only thing I remember about the NIN single was that for a remix of "Perfect Drug", there was a sample of a Dalek shouting "Annihilate them!". Bliss.
Strangely, Becca was immediately "one of the guys", no awkward hittings on, etc....except to me. Oh, how I had the crush on the girl-beautiful, geekly, loyal, and extremely personable. She never seemed respondant, despite her claims of noone being interested and my constant (and sometimes far less than subtle) hinting.
It must have been late September, or early October, this night. My room was lit by a few candles-not so much the candles, but the grotesque candle holders:handed down to me by dad, they were castles-castles built out of a face and nature itself, contorted painfully. Cast a wonderfully eerie light, and the holders themselves came to life. On the stereo was Dark Side of the Moon, just loud enough for me to hear it but soft enough to hear every breath of hers vis the telephone I clutched to my side; laying on my back eyes closed on the floor.
"Oh, that's Pink Floyd! I know that album! Back in (whereever she moved from) we used to put that on as background music for Magic matches. Does anyone here play that?" Mmm. Yes. LOTS. Not me, I couldn't keep up with all the memorizing, but it was so refreshing to know that a female player exists. On we rambled about things....about the time "Us and Them" began playing, it got uncomfortable as she began questioning my friendship with almost twin James. My suspicion of her crush for James was correct, and it burned. He tried not to speak to her, she knew he was involved and a good Christian lad, and yet she hit the mark that stung worst:she started comparing how very similar he and I are, and what good friends we are, I ought to know more, ohmygosh you two are almost exactly alike AND you look alike! Inevitably, I had to bring it around-if he and I are so much the same, barring that one of us ignores you and one of us is involved, why am I shoved aside?
The typical cliches of human emotion without any thought for the WHY of one feels that way. She saw him first; I was her first new friend. Friend. Though it's what you want in a relationship, the established friendship is never right-you want a clone of it, but with the romance automatically installed at the beginning. The mystique and exitement of something "new" isnt there, and thats really what you want-that bubbly feeling, THEN you worry about the details. That first feeling of lust-a car you love as a child for whatever reasons...superior makes and models may come along, but for FIRST reasons, you long more for the "original"-original to you.
But I played the good friend...listened and later would try to sway James....never getting upset or voicing a word against her hypocrisy.
Days (or weeks?) later, almost Halloween....Rocky Horror was to play at a local theatre, and I'd pulled together a wad of cash so that a HUGE group could go-I'd called my costuming and gothly friends and gotten them to agree to loaning clothes/makeup....figured up timetables/schedules for how everyone would get where how....etc. The group that would eventually arrive at my home to meet Darren and I would be us, Becca, Heather, Skid, and....two other people I dont care to remember. Here we would also get dressed up and do makeup.
Cut to Rocky Horror, cut to everyone having a blast. cut to the group returning to my home for the uncostuming.
Long story short and simple, because I dont like to think of the spiral of manipulation she ended up being drug into:while I was showering, apparently Kevin wasnt worth while, but Skid and she took the time to fuck on my bed. I didnt even hear about it from her, I heard thirdhand the next morning after everyone had woken. When school resumed, her and Skid were a couple-and what wonderful logic. "Well, he kissed me, I mean, what am I supposed to do?" Longer story shorter, Skid drug his meth dealing friend Mike into it, and the pair of them "shared" her (and 3 other girls she didnt know about and wouldnt believe about, alongside Mike fucking her mom too)....
I haven't listened to the album since that week, and it played last night. This was supposed to be an entry on the feeling of the time....that part of my life, and where the song/album fit....
But I cant explain it. You weren't there. And it doesnt' really matter. There was no point to this tale. And I didnt even tell it very well.
Today's topic will be Pink Floyd. Dark Side Of The Moon. Specifically, the song that triggered this trip down repressed and forgotten memory lane would be "Us and Them".
I've had to rewrite the name several times before I could remember correctly:Rebecca. A bit of background on Becca...
Junior year of high school....for a few days, outside in our courtyard circle I'd spied a lovely new face standing by the ramp up to the third floor. Short, visibly very uncomfortable with her form and it's unflattering presentation, blonde hair, brilliantly blue eyes, and one could tell that above all she was ashamed of the braces that I couldnt see but knew were there by the way she held her cheeck muscles (especially when spoken to by the passing stranger). I don't remember how I/we started speaking to her. It didn't take long for us to take a shine to her and drag her to the group. I vaguely remember something about us exchanging phone numbers while trading off musical education materials-for her, a King's X album and a Ruby album, for Kevin, she would try to change my feelings on NIN with an import single and....some other album by someone else. Only thing I remember about the NIN single was that for a remix of "Perfect Drug", there was a sample of a Dalek shouting "Annihilate them!". Bliss.
Strangely, Becca was immediately "one of the guys", no awkward hittings on, etc....except to me. Oh, how I had the crush on the girl-beautiful, geekly, loyal, and extremely personable. She never seemed respondant, despite her claims of noone being interested and my constant (and sometimes far less than subtle) hinting.
It must have been late September, or early October, this night. My room was lit by a few candles-not so much the candles, but the grotesque candle holders:handed down to me by dad, they were castles-castles built out of a face and nature itself, contorted painfully. Cast a wonderfully eerie light, and the holders themselves came to life. On the stereo was Dark Side of the Moon, just loud enough for me to hear it but soft enough to hear every breath of hers vis the telephone I clutched to my side; laying on my back eyes closed on the floor.
"Oh, that's Pink Floyd! I know that album! Back in (whereever she moved from) we used to put that on as background music for Magic matches. Does anyone here play that?" Mmm. Yes. LOTS. Not me, I couldn't keep up with all the memorizing, but it was so refreshing to know that a female player exists. On we rambled about things....about the time "Us and Them" began playing, it got uncomfortable as she began questioning my friendship with almost twin James. My suspicion of her crush for James was correct, and it burned. He tried not to speak to her, she knew he was involved and a good Christian lad, and yet she hit the mark that stung worst:she started comparing how very similar he and I are, and what good friends we are, I ought to know more, ohmygosh you two are almost exactly alike AND you look alike! Inevitably, I had to bring it around-if he and I are so much the same, barring that one of us ignores you and one of us is involved, why am I shoved aside?
The typical cliches of human emotion without any thought for the WHY of one feels that way. She saw him first; I was her first new friend. Friend. Though it's what you want in a relationship, the established friendship is never right-you want a clone of it, but with the romance automatically installed at the beginning. The mystique and exitement of something "new" isnt there, and thats really what you want-that bubbly feeling, THEN you worry about the details. That first feeling of lust-a car you love as a child for whatever reasons...superior makes and models may come along, but for FIRST reasons, you long more for the "original"-original to you.
But I played the good friend...listened and later would try to sway James....never getting upset or voicing a word against her hypocrisy.
Days (or weeks?) later, almost Halloween....Rocky Horror was to play at a local theatre, and I'd pulled together a wad of cash so that a HUGE group could go-I'd called my costuming and gothly friends and gotten them to agree to loaning clothes/makeup....figured up timetables/schedules for how everyone would get where how....etc. The group that would eventually arrive at my home to meet Darren and I would be us, Becca, Heather, Skid, and....two other people I dont care to remember. Here we would also get dressed up and do makeup.
Cut to Rocky Horror, cut to everyone having a blast. cut to the group returning to my home for the uncostuming.
Long story short and simple, because I dont like to think of the spiral of manipulation she ended up being drug into:while I was showering, apparently Kevin wasnt worth while, but Skid and she took the time to fuck on my bed. I didnt even hear about it from her, I heard thirdhand the next morning after everyone had woken. When school resumed, her and Skid were a couple-and what wonderful logic. "Well, he kissed me, I mean, what am I supposed to do?" Longer story shorter, Skid drug his meth dealing friend Mike into it, and the pair of them "shared" her (and 3 other girls she didnt know about and wouldnt believe about, alongside Mike fucking her mom too)....
I haven't listened to the album since that week, and it played last night. This was supposed to be an entry on the feeling of the time....that part of my life, and where the song/album fit....
But I cant explain it. You weren't there. And it doesnt' really matter. There was no point to this tale. And I didnt even tell it very well.