i_poop_too_much

She just woke up but she's still tired
Is that the telephone ringing?
The curtains can't hold back the light
It's reaching into her dreams
Down in her heart
If it had fingers it'd be tearing her apart

You'd be looking groovy
In a sixties movie
Baby tell the press you died
Little legend baby
Try your very best to hide
A green tinted sixties mind

Gotta face the day
There is no other way to
Clear the fog inside your mind
Fill it up with dreams
All that she can seem to find
A green tinted sixties mind

I had the most freakish, real feeling dream ever. I was doing some kind of wire work in a house that had just been rented or sold or something....and while wiring up (ethernet?) I looked at the fellow on the couch who was reading.....and it was my friend Darren.

Darren. Haven't seen him or spoken to him in 2 years now. My closest friend ever, I'd call him brother. I miss him somedays.

I walk over to him and sit, and say "Boo, bitch!" And he sits up as though nothing has passed-same as ever-with the typical "Hey Kevin." We chatted idly, avoiding mention of time, commenting on my new career as a wire monkey, that Stephanie is no longer with him.....exchange email info and agree to get in touch later, as I have work to do. We lean and hug and he says "I've missed you." The palpability of this dream.....I could smell his hair, unmistakable. We walked off, same as ever, and later I came home to my apartment-which for whatever reason was a complete shit shack. Leaky cieling, moldy, shafts of light peering in through crevices on the cieling, and a laptop computer on a rotted and collapsed side counter. I turned it on and was assaulted by an IM as soon as I connected-Darren. Decided to meet up for dinner at the nearby Waffle House (how I wish there were one here)....the floor fell out beneath me and I woke.

It was the most horrible, gut wrenching awakening. It was only a dream, but the feeling was so real...I think for a moment I'd have traded everything away to return to our self proclaimed "Days of Swine and Roses".

Homoerotic intentions here? Fuck you, no-I love(d) Darren as though he were blood. Uncontended with what we had, I aspired to build more-and it collapsed in on me and crushed all. Yes, it's partially the fault of the lazy and visionless, but who was the mad scientist.....?

She'll pressure me again to get in touch with him, and I know I should; but I won't. If it's to happen, he'll seek me out-I'm a LITTLE easier to find. So long as he's held by his master, though, he'll do no such thing. I'm going to send him a subtle message next week, though. I know it's his birthday, I know he works at Wal Mart, and I know that calling in to their radio show for a "shout out" for a birthday will get played. My voice, his birthday, and hopefully a request for King's X to be played and he'll know at least. He'll know there's no bad blood, that he's not forgotten, and maybe I'll hear from him.

Otherwise, my life was just a nightmare in a dreamscape.

-Kevin