I decided it was time to put down the family problem thing. 2 weekends ago my dad came downstairs afternoon while my mum was over visiting my grandad. He had a heap of papers with him and a worried look on his face. He started off by saying that after we sold our other house we had some money left over which went into a different account. At first I thought that he might have been going to say that I could have the money, because for a while I've been expressing interest in buying an investment property to sort of set myself up for life. Unfortunately for many reasons, it had nothing to do with that. I wasn't getting $20,000.
He went on to tell me that at regular intervals over the past 18 months my mum had been withdrawing large sums of money from their joint account and depositing it into this other account, the one with the left over house money in it. On average it was about $700 at a time, the biggest being over $2000. The band had contacted my dad about it, thinking that somehow these substantial withdrawls were something that they were not aware of, and if they weren't, the bank would be able to do something about it. After talking with the bank dad found out that the money had been going into this account, from my mum.
So dad asked her how much money was in the account. She said there was only about $25,000 in there. Dad showed me the bank statements from this account (the joint one) for the past 18 months, and had worked out that there should be over $50,000 in there. That's a fucking shitload of money. My dad works hard out of town so that we can live an above average lifestyle, and yet we're not doing that. We're just normal. And that's not a problem to me. I'm old enough to look after myself if need be. But the fact remains that the money that my dad was working for, money that myself, my brothers, my mum and my dad were all entitiled to share in, was getting distributed into this other account.
When he asked her about the money she went all fucked up on him and screamed and cried about being accused of stealing the money. Even though she fucking IS stealing it. Dad doesn't even care about the money, because until the bank called him, he didn't even know that money was going missing. The fact that mum is denying knowledge of it leads us all to belive that something serious is going on. You can't presume that your own mother is stealing money and doing something with it, because it's obvious she hasn't obtained anything material - we'd notice it around the house. Everyone just wants to help if it's something bad. A theory being thrown up is that her friend Pam, who is actually just the mother of one of my mum's other friends, is a gambler, and possibly has either gotten into a lot of trouble and needs help being bailed out, or, she has gotten my mum into gambling and that's where it's all going. Either way, it's so not cool, and Noone's comfortable having this lady in our house anymore.
Either way, my parents' marriage is over. My dad's really upset and would rather just try and forget about everything and go on as if nothing bad is happening. It's so fucking sad. There was supposed to be an intervention where we all confronted mum about it so she had no choice but to fess up to what the deal is. But my dad couldn't bring himself to be upset again and so now 2 weeks have gone by. He goes back to work again tomorrow and so at least another week will go by without any resolution.
I want to help and get my mum out of whatever mess she is in. But if she's just selfishly fucking about and screwing us all over, then all I want to do is forget this whole deal and leave. My dad needs me though. He confided in ME. He's got noone to go to but me. My other brothers don't get it as much as I do. Michael's 30, and dad told him the short of it the same afternoon I found out, and he's pretty pissed off, but it's sort of been put all on me.
The bank has been advised by the bank to seek legal advice, or close their joint account so that the money can't keep coming out. I want to buy our house and pay it off myself and kick my mother out. She's obviously got money to get herself sorted out with. But then you think.. this is my mother. She has taken care of me and loved me for 21 years. You can't do that. I just don't know what to do with it all. I pretend that nothing is happening, but inside I'm falling apart.
He went on to tell me that at regular intervals over the past 18 months my mum had been withdrawing large sums of money from their joint account and depositing it into this other account, the one with the left over house money in it. On average it was about $700 at a time, the biggest being over $2000. The band had contacted my dad about it, thinking that somehow these substantial withdrawls were something that they were not aware of, and if they weren't, the bank would be able to do something about it. After talking with the bank dad found out that the money had been going into this account, from my mum.
So dad asked her how much money was in the account. She said there was only about $25,000 in there. Dad showed me the bank statements from this account (the joint one) for the past 18 months, and had worked out that there should be over $50,000 in there. That's a fucking shitload of money. My dad works hard out of town so that we can live an above average lifestyle, and yet we're not doing that. We're just normal. And that's not a problem to me. I'm old enough to look after myself if need be. But the fact remains that the money that my dad was working for, money that myself, my brothers, my mum and my dad were all entitiled to share in, was getting distributed into this other account.
When he asked her about the money she went all fucked up on him and screamed and cried about being accused of stealing the money. Even though she fucking IS stealing it. Dad doesn't even care about the money, because until the bank called him, he didn't even know that money was going missing. The fact that mum is denying knowledge of it leads us all to belive that something serious is going on. You can't presume that your own mother is stealing money and doing something with it, because it's obvious she hasn't obtained anything material - we'd notice it around the house. Everyone just wants to help if it's something bad. A theory being thrown up is that her friend Pam, who is actually just the mother of one of my mum's other friends, is a gambler, and possibly has either gotten into a lot of trouble and needs help being bailed out, or, she has gotten my mum into gambling and that's where it's all going. Either way, it's so not cool, and Noone's comfortable having this lady in our house anymore.
Either way, my parents' marriage is over. My dad's really upset and would rather just try and forget about everything and go on as if nothing bad is happening. It's so fucking sad. There was supposed to be an intervention where we all confronted mum about it so she had no choice but to fess up to what the deal is. But my dad couldn't bring himself to be upset again and so now 2 weeks have gone by. He goes back to work again tomorrow and so at least another week will go by without any resolution.
I want to help and get my mum out of whatever mess she is in. But if she's just selfishly fucking about and screwing us all over, then all I want to do is forget this whole deal and leave. My dad needs me though. He confided in ME. He's got noone to go to but me. My other brothers don't get it as much as I do. Michael's 30, and dad told him the short of it the same afternoon I found out, and he's pretty pissed off, but it's sort of been put all on me.
The bank has been advised by the bank to seek legal advice, or close their joint account so that the money can't keep coming out. I want to buy our house and pay it off myself and kick my mother out. She's obviously got money to get herself sorted out with. But then you think.. this is my mother. She has taken care of me and loved me for 21 years. You can't do that. I just don't know what to do with it all. I pretend that nothing is happening, but inside I'm falling apart.