i_am_ghost

Maybe I'm a complete asshole for saying and thinking that I don't think i'm really affected by the fact that last night I recieved an sms along the lines of "i love you, thanks for everything, tonight is the night, goodbye". I'm just so drained by it all. I can sms back, and I can call and she wont answer, but what else can I do? I don't know where she lives, so I can't go there and stop her doing what she says she's going to do. I can't call the police and say hey I think someone's in trouble. What are they going to say? Where do I have to go? Gee officer, I don't know. Stop wasting my time kid. I talked to my friend Loren who put me in touch with similar things she had done to herself. The cutting. The attention seeking. She seems to think Leah obviously had something to hide from me that would make me not want her anymore, and that she was enjoying so much what I was giving her. The way I see it is - telling me she was going to do it was either a cry to say "stop me Matt", which I tried to do, and if I'd gotten through I'd have to lie to appease her, and continue to go on with the crap so that she wouldn't do anything. And I guess a life is worth it in the end. You obviously don't want people to die. Or that she hasn't and.. shit I had something prophetic to say and it's gone. Either way I'm done with it.

Ahh there's so much I want to write down, but I fear that if I write it all at once I'll let myself become boring by putting on by with stupid pointless meaningless updates of what I had for lunch that day, and what stupid customer did this, or how much a particular shit hurt my sphincter. That's it for now I guess. Onto a new chapter of my life starting tomorrow.