The conversation has been had.
I've been finding it hard to ask "so what is the fucking deal; when are you moving out?". When she sent me a text this afternoon to tell me she wouldn't be home for dinner and she would tell me why when she got home, I was hopeful it would be because she had made some plans.
I have been prepared for the worst. Because we've been in a de-facto relationship for so long, built a life, a home and a family together, I thought there would be some kind of 50-50 split of assets. But in that split, there's also the debts. And her share of what is owing in the partnership is probably similar in size to what she would conceivably receive if there was some kind of messiness. By keeping the stuff, I keep the debts. I'm happy with that. I can afford that. I have plans for that.
My ambition is the main reason why this is over in the first place. Yes, I blamed "Her". But Her was probably just the final straw. I'm considerably older than her. I wouldn't say I've done all of my living, but she feels like she hasn't done any of hers. I have plans for my career, my future, my life. She doesn't even know who she is yet. It'll be interesting for her to see how she goes on her own because in a way I have, and I've never even thought about it until just now, been a bit of a surrogate parent in some ways. I'm not old enough to be her dad.. But in the sense that she was a couple of months shy of 18 when I first started seeing her, and since not long after that we've been living together. She relies on me for so many things. She still pays her phone bill at the store because she hasn't worked out Bpay. She doesn't check train times, she just leaves really early. She's still a baby, and I'm a man.
I'm glad the talk has been had. I'm sad that there's a definite end but also glad that there is something definite. I've felt all over the place for the past two weeks. I can begin to move on with my own life after her now.
So I need some new experiences.
I'm willing to travel to do this.
