apparently i'm having mood swings.
i'm feeling like i've always been let in on little details that i would rather not have known about. i'm not stupid. i just want to be lied to.. completely. if something is to be kept from me, don't leave clues.
i'm so bored. i miss my 9-5. as crap a job as it was, and i certainly wont miss the customers. it was just something to do. i'm conflicted on what i want with life. i think that everything.. the jobs, the friends, the music.. is all just a prelude to what/who i really want. and nothing else even matters.
it's a ridiculous time of day and like every day before this, i'm still awake. my brain doesn't turn off. my heart doesn't stop beating fast and my breath doesn't stop being short.
sometimes i wish she'd just hurt the fuck out of me so i can have a hardcore cry about it for a little while and then.. well who am i kidding, i'd still love her. i know she doesn't mean to make me feel this way, and frankly it's my choice to feel this way. i know she has to sort out her shit first before she can even consider somebody else. let alone me.
i've spent a lot of time in my life preferring not to know all the facts and living on hopes because i'm afraid to find out that... i love you way more than you love me.
i want to tell you everything. i want to tell you how i'm feeling. but i know that you can't tell me what i want to hear.
i'm feeling like i've always been let in on little details that i would rather not have known about. i'm not stupid. i just want to be lied to.. completely. if something is to be kept from me, don't leave clues.
i'm so bored. i miss my 9-5. as crap a job as it was, and i certainly wont miss the customers. it was just something to do. i'm conflicted on what i want with life. i think that everything.. the jobs, the friends, the music.. is all just a prelude to what/who i really want. and nothing else even matters.
it's a ridiculous time of day and like every day before this, i'm still awake. my brain doesn't turn off. my heart doesn't stop beating fast and my breath doesn't stop being short.
sometimes i wish she'd just hurt the fuck out of me so i can have a hardcore cry about it for a little while and then.. well who am i kidding, i'd still love her. i know she doesn't mean to make me feel this way, and frankly it's my choice to feel this way. i know she has to sort out her shit first before she can even consider somebody else. let alone me.
i've spent a lot of time in my life preferring not to know all the facts and living on hopes because i'm afraid to find out that... i love you way more than you love me.
i want to tell you everything. i want to tell you how i'm feeling. but i know that you can't tell me what i want to hear.