So Madeleine L'Engle passed away this week. In 5th grade, I had a teacher who recognized my college-level reading skills and handed me a copy of A WRINKLE IN TIME. I was hooked. She then gave me A WIND IN THE DOOR, the sequel....after that, I pretty much tried to read any science fiction or fantasy I could get my hands on. Up to that point, I'd been strictly a comic book kid. So, Mrs. Bertram offered me my first gateway book into nerd-dom.
(All this is to remember what has always been a little bit of a curse for me: my love of nerd girls and their love of other guys. Even in my relationship, it's fairly obvious she wishes I were a bad boy, even though bad boys have always broken her heart. In that, we're much alike....we sort of want what we can't get, even though we love each other very much)
I honestly try NOT to be attracted to the opposite sex, because it stopped being fun a long time ago. It wouldn't matter if the attraction was mutual (ok, maybe it would) because I'm a fairly uptight stick in the mud.
I do think all of this is to distract me from my financial situation and the trapped feeling that has been permeating our living arrangement. Our landlady is a bitch, the laundry room is always filthy, and no one follows the non-smoking rule for the building (we gave up reporting people a long time ago). We both want to move out of this place so badly, but I'm not sure how we'll afford a new place, a condo or even another one bedroom apartment, with our current financial state. There are things we can do, but time is not on our side.
A few more responsibilities at my job are coming up, which is nice, and I'll be taking language courses sometime this month. None of this changes things much, but I'm impatient.
In the past, I would've already made fumbling attempts to express my interest to my co-worker (who goes out of her way to touch me, which normally would creep me out, as I'm not really the touchy feely type except with my girlfriend), but thankfully, crashing and burning has schooled me well.
The gf flirts with guys (this is the same woman who, years ago, went up to a member of the Chicago Bulls and asked him out on a date - she's got more balls than I do), and I've told myself it doesn't bother me, but it does, and not for the reason I thought. I think it bugs me because no girls flirt with me.
How lame is that thought?
I mean, there are hundreds of other problems I could be thinking about. I could be coming up with a 5 year business plan for my comic book ideas or brainstorming ideas for the novel I've been working on for the last 10 months, but I'm crying into my chocolate milk about how girls don't like me. Wah wah WAH.
I only hope I don't become one of those middle-aged guys who leaves a mature and stable woman for some 21 year old.
Wait, my co-worker is 24.
Argh.
(All this is to remember what has always been a little bit of a curse for me: my love of nerd girls and their love of other guys. Even in my relationship, it's fairly obvious she wishes I were a bad boy, even though bad boys have always broken her heart. In that, we're much alike....we sort of want what we can't get, even though we love each other very much)
I honestly try NOT to be attracted to the opposite sex, because it stopped being fun a long time ago. It wouldn't matter if the attraction was mutual (ok, maybe it would) because I'm a fairly uptight stick in the mud.
I do think all of this is to distract me from my financial situation and the trapped feeling that has been permeating our living arrangement. Our landlady is a bitch, the laundry room is always filthy, and no one follows the non-smoking rule for the building (we gave up reporting people a long time ago). We both want to move out of this place so badly, but I'm not sure how we'll afford a new place, a condo or even another one bedroom apartment, with our current financial state. There are things we can do, but time is not on our side.
A few more responsibilities at my job are coming up, which is nice, and I'll be taking language courses sometime this month. None of this changes things much, but I'm impatient.
In the past, I would've already made fumbling attempts to express my interest to my co-worker (who goes out of her way to touch me, which normally would creep me out, as I'm not really the touchy feely type except with my girlfriend), but thankfully, crashing and burning has schooled me well.
The gf flirts with guys (this is the same woman who, years ago, went up to a member of the Chicago Bulls and asked him out on a date - she's got more balls than I do), and I've told myself it doesn't bother me, but it does, and not for the reason I thought. I think it bugs me because no girls flirt with me.
How lame is that thought?
I mean, there are hundreds of other problems I could be thinking about. I could be coming up with a 5 year business plan for my comic book ideas or brainstorming ideas for the novel I've been working on for the last 10 months, but I'm crying into my chocolate milk about how girls don't like me. Wah wah WAH.
I only hope I don't become one of those middle-aged guys who leaves a mature and stable woman for some 21 year old.
Wait, my co-worker is 24.
Argh.
I too have had the "she wants a bad boy" problem. The thing is, best version of yourself you can offer someone is the real one, otherwise eventually, the glamour fades and the mask will fall.
And YES!!! I was on the verge of extinction there but I signed up for another year. Bwahaha.