hypnoticsenshi

My lil' update in the "love department" of the hypnoticsenshi...


Well, there was this one guy I was chasing after, and that well, that's going nowhere. We both like each other, but it'll never get beyond just messin' around when one or the others semi-intoxicated. Which just isn't my bag of tea. And I won't say anything (what really is there to say?) because he's leaving soon, and blah...the whole situation just sux.

So onto problem number 2. Yay. There's this other guy I like, Brian. Right, see, my roomie and him had a "thing" for a lil, but she kinda toyed around with him (couldn't make up her mind if she wanted him or not) and pretty much broke his heart (he wasn't madly in love with her, but he was willing to make sacrifices to be with her, and she just couldn't get over herself and kept him hanging and then decided no, 'cuz she got with someone else...that's more drama there, not getting into her shit on here more than i have to)...so anywho.

Basically, she was over him, and I asked, jokingly, if I were to get with him (I've had a crush on him for a while, but she also liked him so I did the good friend thing and backed off) anywho, so she told me that I should go for it (apparently he's pretty big and good in bed), I couldn't tell if she was joking or not, so I didn't go ahead. And then he started talking to me about her, to try to figure out why she was such a bitch to him, and we started hanging out a lil bit more. Ok, on to more drama...duh nuh nuuuuhhh....

So, then she can't deicde if it's right that she stays with the other guy, and changes her mind and wants to go back and be with Brian suddenly. I don't know if she did it intentionaly, or if she really is just that messed up in the head not to see it, but she tried to talk to him and he wouldn't take her back. Go fig. I told her she hurt him pretty bad and he wouldn't. Then, she told me that if I was to get with him, she would be pissed at me. WTF!?!?!? Just the other day she was saying "go for it" and now this?!?!?

So I calm her down by telling her that if it's gonna cause a problem between us, then I won't go for it. And I'm all set to stand by that. Then one night, we're hanging out drinking in our room, have some peeps over. And him and some of his buddies show up outside, so I walk off with him to talk to him. He's asking if she got with this other guy, I deny everything, not my place to be sayin' shit. Meanwhile, back in the room, apparently (according to another friend who came looking for me) my roomie was getting pissed and sayin' that I was off doing stuff with him, blah blah blah.

Ok, so I didn't do anything then. But the next day, him and I went out to lunch and to the mall, nothing major. I didn't tell my roomie (still haven't told her). We were just hanging out and talking and just basic fun stuff. And then a few nights later, I go over to his room to watch movies ("wedding crashers" and then we fell asleep to "cry_wolf") anywho. And I end up kissing him and making out a lil. Nothing big, just kissing really. And I end up sleeping (actually sleeping, no sex) with him that night. Didn't tell her where I went or nothing. She was pissy at me, but she got over it.

And last night, I was on the phone with my bestest best friend (he was having issues at home) and I saw Brian walking around. So, once I got off the phone, I walked with him over towards his building and we were just talking about some stuff, and trading drunk stories. And then he gave me a lil hug before I left, and kissed me. Ok, not a big deal, right? Wrong! I was about to tell him it wouldn't work out for several reasons, one being my stupid roomate, another was he seemed so timid and innocent-like when I made out with him the night before and I don't want that.

Ok, I just need to put this out. I like to be dominated. Plain and simple. I like being a little submissive. I can be aggressive or assertive, but I much prefer to be a little subby. And when I made out with him, he didn't try to touch anything he wasn't supposed to, didn't go for anything, I initiated the kiss. Yea, so I was like, no!!!! I don't want to have to "train" a new "puppy" lol. (that's the only way I can think to describe it..haha). Anywho, so when he kissed me, he initated it. And now, I'm like, "hmm...maybe..."

So now, I don't know if I should just go for it, and then I would acutally have a boyfriend, and he seems like a decent guy too. Or if I should just stop now, so my roomie doesn't try to kill me. I want to go for it, I think right about now I need this, like physically and mentally. And I like him. But I don't want issues in my own home, that would suck. I have to live with her. *le sigh*

Drama, drama, drama...I am such a chick.


Arugh! I'm a happy pirate!