hypermediocrity

despondency. HM style.
"despondency

noun
feeling downcast and disheartened and hopeless "

my mother left today a few hours ago. as apprehensive as i was about her visit initially, it turned out really great. it was nice to have someone take care of me, like turning on the heat in the morning to "take the chill out of the house", and roll my hair in hot rollers.

i asked her if she wished i was normal and she replied "what fun would that be?". im such a hyperstimulated person. not to mention excessive. i have a tendency to let something grab my eye and completely zone out. and i still have to touch EVERYTHING in the store.

she met T and of course, adores him (who fucking doesnt, hes the most likeable person in the world, it's weird). she exclaimed over he and i's gestures together, like eating off eachother's plates, exchanging wicked grins and perpetually asking "how do you feel about that?"

to explain the final things, that question is because both of us have a tendency to personify everything, and apparantly everything has a feeling. example:

Me: T, i really want to go to dairy queen, and i also really want a sandwich. How do you feel about that?
T: Hmm. I feel fine about it. Lets go.

Me: I wrote something today.
T: Really? How do you feel about it?
Me: I'm not sure yet.
T: Well dont let anyone read it if you arent sure.


lord jesus thank you for this boyfriend.

haha. we are odd ducks. but i suppose its good that we care so much about the other person's reaction.

so, my mama is gone and T is in Talladega.

i feel fucking despondent.
someone come wash my hair for me. im starting to be taken over by it. fucking look at that beast on my head. jesus christ.