My cousin sent me this. I thought a alot of the things were funny. As I have nothing much to add, except that I had a rockin time last night, despite the disappointment of the no-shows (yeah, you know who you people are!) The party was fun, but not enough alcohol was imbibed due to the fact that everyone had to drive long distances home.
We needed someone like.... Starr to take us into a drunken stupor.... she was sadly missing. So were others, but uhm... don't really care whether they show lol. The people that were there were pretty cool, i found out that I am a nerd (like people had to fuckin tell me!) ok, anyways, on with the fun!
Subject: Points to Ponder.................
1) My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was
God and I didn't!
(2) I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
(3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
(4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
(5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
(6) Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
(7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
(8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
(9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
(10) Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
(11) I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are missing.
(12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
(13) Nyquil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
medicine.
(14) God must love stupid people; he made so many.
(15) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
(16) It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
(17) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
(18) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
(19) MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.
(20) Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
(21) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
(22) Procrastinate Now!
(23) My Dog Can Lick Anyone.
(24) I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
(25) FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.
(26) A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
(27) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
(28) STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
(29) They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
(30) He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
(31) A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
(32) HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a
pig.
(33) The trouble with life is there's no background music.
(34) The original point and click device was a Smith and Wesson.
We needed someone like.... Starr to take us into a drunken stupor.... she was sadly missing. So were others, but uhm... don't really care whether they show lol. The people that were there were pretty cool, i found out that I am a nerd (like people had to fuckin tell me!) ok, anyways, on with the fun!
Subject: Points to Ponder.................
1) My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was
God and I didn't!
(2) I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
(3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
(4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
(5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
(6) Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
(7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
(8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
(9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
(10) Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
(11) I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are missing.
(12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
(13) Nyquil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
medicine.
(14) God must love stupid people; he made so many.
(15) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
(16) It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
(17) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
(18) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
(19) MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.
(20) Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
(21) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
(22) Procrastinate Now!
(23) My Dog Can Lick Anyone.
(24) I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
(25) FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.
(26) A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
(27) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
(28) STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
(29) They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
(30) He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
(31) A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
(32) HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a
pig.
(33) The trouble with life is there's no background music.
(34) The original point and click device was a Smith and Wesson.
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
just fucking with you. yeah it was good time that night. was nice seeing and meeting more people down here.