Some days you just have to accept sadness and nostalgia. Let it really sink in. Listening to so much Arcade Fire... the new album is so fucking good... It brings me back to when I first loved them, when I would walk to the bus in the cold with them cooing their cacophony in my ears the first few months I lived in Austin.
Feeling sad and alone because of how I let the love in a long distance relationship die for a new destructive partner (who is now engaged to the girl he met after me and living in New York), a new city, the first STD to navigate and thank god... cure. Now, 7 years later... still sad and alone. Roughly 2 serious relationships and give or take 15 destructive life-sucking lovers later. Still cold. So much is fulfilling, so much is stressful. What the fuck is being an adult about anyway? Relatively, being sad and 24 feels just like being sad and 18? What is youth and what is growth? Sometimes I feel so different from who I was then... right now, I feel exactly the same.
Feeling sad in the Green Belt with my friend Jeremiah:
I was Wednesday Addams for Halloween because maybe I am Wednesday Addams. Fucking period is really getting to me this month. It's ok... even New York cries:
God I wanna go to Haiti so much...
